I just feel really sad. I don't know if I'm depressed honestly. Maybe I'm just hitting a rough patch in my life? I always feel really upset and worthless and unsure about life lately. I feel like everyone's too busy for me and I'll never find a guy that likes me and I'm not good enough to get into the university I would love to get into. Track used to be my life, but lately I guess I kind of hate it but I think that was because I had to balance school work, student council and theatre with it but I really don't know. When I'm with others, I'm fine. Laughing and everything, being a regular teenager but then it's like when I'm alone in my room, I break down and just cry about everything and tell myself how much I hate me. I've talked to my best friend about it. She helps a lot. And my close guy friend is great but lately he's been on my case asking about the scars on my arm and why I've been so moody lately and if I'm okay. A few days ago I was with him and just started randomly crying. I don't know why. He was just so understanding about it and bought me a milkshake and drove me home and just stayed with me until he thought I was okay. I know he cares about me and just wants to help but it's like . . . I want help . . . But I don't. I know that probably sounded so stupid but I honestly don't even know anymore. I just don't want people to look at me differently. I don't really get out much. I've been invited to so many parties but made up an excuse for each one and I don't know why. I just don't feel like leaving my room. I've tried talking to my parents. They ask me what stresses me out and my simple reply is "school" and they say "No! You're so involved! You love school!" They just don't get it. I know it's Summer and I know so many people have it worse but is it so wrong that I just want to be happy? True happiness. No facades. I want to reach out to a professional and honestly get checked out and see if there's something wrong with me but how do I tell my parents? They would get angry or would say I should talk to them instead of a therapist because they're my parents. I truly want to get help. I've been feeling like this for two years. I'm not suicidal I just really want to get better.
(Sorry I know this is really long but I seriously appreciate you guys so much at 2nd Floor❤)
(Sorry I know this is really long but I seriously appreciate you guys so much at 2nd Floor❤)
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