Lonely Night Depression

[Lonely Nights]

Hi. I am a 17 year old female who is in a pretty cool highschool where the setting is often compared to "college level." I have had new friends come and go every year with maybe an occasional friend who comes back for a few weeks, then distances themself again. My two main best guy friends are really adorable. I was sorta messing around with one of them for awhile, but he turned out to be kind of ignorant and abusive in our "not really a relationship of any kind" friendship. My other guy friend is dating someone I'm not okay with, because her and I have had a bumpy past, and I must admit I'm a bit jealous. Now on to my two closest girl friends, who are polar opposites. They are supportive to me with every decision and are awesome friends and I know I will never lose them.

Now onto the real issue. I have something wrong with me. In my mental status. I have the worst time at night right before bed when everyone else is asleep. I cry for hours, lose more sleep than I should, and end up crying myself to sleep every night. In the day, even after nights like that, I wake up fine. Maybe a little sad until I start talking to the few friends I have, but for the rest of the day I'm fine. I've been to my school counselor many times before I was refferred to a different one, still at school. She said I should speak to my mom.
I can't. I've tried so hard every day but I can't. I'm too happy during the day... My depression is only worsening. I need something to help me. I can't confess, yet I came here for advice. Thank you for listening.

[2NDFLOOR]

Thank you for reaching out to 2ndFloor. As your school recommended a counselor would be a great option for you, maybe one that doesn't go to your school, an outside source. I hear you saying that you are only depressed at night, but there must be something that you are thinking about while you are crying at night and not sleeping. If you identify this or write down some thoughts when you are feeling this way it might be easier for you to talk to someone. The first step in helping yourself get better if reaching out for help, which is exactly what you are doing. Another good resource when you are feeling this way at night is to give 2ndFloor a call, we are here 24/7 so if you can't sleep talking to one of our support counselors could help. Give 2ndFloor a call anytime at 888-222-2228 or text us Fridays 4-8pm at 908-280-0235!