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how to deal with the "death" of a friend nobody else knows about?
so, i have some sort of thing going on along the lines of DID / OSDD1b, a bit closer to the latter. recently, one of my alters fused with another alter to make one singular alter, and i was really close with this particular alter. so, i usually hold a neutral view on fusion, but this particular fusion has felt like a death in a friend group.
i've been feeling stress like none other, and i can't even properly explain /why/ i feel so stressed to my surely well-intentioned parents and friends. because i am literally mourning the loss of what they might see as an "imaginary friend" or something, but i know for a fact that she was far more than an imaginary friend. she was my anchor, my friend, my shoulder to lean on, my platonic everything.
and now that she's gone, i can't even reach out for help because 1) parents would just dismiss me and say its just me roleplaying and 2) most of my friends would go "damn bro, rip" and not even sit there with me for a moment of silence. i do have one online friend group whos helping me out at the moment, but not much else. my school counselor is also not an option; he has been dismissive to me in the past over other things (i.e. autism) that i have diagnosed. cant even begin to imagine how he'd react to this when im not even diagnosed with anything in that regards.
tldr, how can you safely mourn a friend that nobody else knows about?
rest in peace r******. june 24, 2021 to february 14, 2022.
i've been feeling stress like none other, and i can't even properly explain /why/ i feel so stressed to my surely well-intentioned parents and friends. because i am literally mourning the loss of what they might see as an "imaginary friend" or something, but i know for a fact that she was far more than an imaginary friend. she was my anchor, my friend, my shoulder to lean on, my platonic everything.
and now that she's gone, i can't even reach out for help because 1) parents would just dismiss me and say its just me roleplaying and 2) most of my friends would go "damn bro, rip" and not even sit there with me for a moment of silence. i do have one online friend group whos helping me out at the moment, but not much else. my school counselor is also not an option; he has been dismissive to me in the past over other things (i.e. autism) that i have diagnosed. cant even begin to imagine how he'd react to this when im not even diagnosed with anything in that regards.
tldr, how can you safely mourn a friend that nobody else knows about?
rest in peace r******. june 24, 2021 to february 14, 2022.
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