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how to deal with the "death" of a friend nobody else knows about?

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  • how to deal with the "death" of a friend nobody else knows about?

    so, i have some sort of thing going on along the lines of DID / OSDD1b, a bit closer to the latter. recently, one of my alters fused with another alter to make one singular alter, and i was really close with this particular alter. so, i usually hold a neutral view on fusion, but this particular fusion has felt like a death in a friend group.

    i've been feeling stress like none other, and i can't even properly explain /why/ i feel so stressed to my surely well-intentioned parents and friends. because i am literally mourning the loss of what they might see as an "imaginary friend" or something, but i know for a fact that she was far more than an imaginary friend. she was my anchor, my friend, my shoulder to lean on, my platonic everything.

    and now that she's gone, i can't even reach out for help because 1) parents would just dismiss me and say its just me roleplaying and 2) most of my friends would go "damn bro, rip" and not even sit there with me for a moment of silence. i do have one online friend group whos helping me out at the moment, but not much else. my school counselor is also not an option; he has been dismissive to me in the past over other things (i.e. autism) that i have diagnosed. cant even begin to imagine how he'd react to this when im not even diagnosed with anything in that regards.

    tldr, how can you safely mourn a friend that nobody else knows about?

    rest in peace r******. june 24, 2021 to february 14, 2022.

  • #2
    Sorry to hear about your loss, it takes time to learn how to cope with a loss. Time does help heal but the loss never goes away, try to remember the good times and memories you have with your friend. Here is a link that offers some resources by county that can help @ and and I hope these links help you some and if you want to talk you can text or call 2NDFLOOR , we are here 24/7 at 888-222-2228.


    • #3
      I am sorry for your loss-- as the previous post mentioned there are many places that can help provide a listening ear in situations such as these. It's also important to try to give your parents, friends and possibly your counselor second chances to be there for you even if they haven't in the past. Try genuinely speaking to them about how you've felt about being dismissed previously and what you'd like from them moving forward, whether it's someone to listen, advice, or perhaps to simply bounce ideas off of. Sometimes all it takes is a bit of directness and you may be surprised with the results!


      • #4
        This is such a unique and deeply personal loss. Honor this part of you and the service she was to you for the time you had her. Remember past support and thank her memory, knowing that she moved on for a reason. Feel the sadness of the loss, then breath deep and think, “what guidance would she have given me now? How do I use what she taught me for good in my life”, because that is surly what she intended. All my love and prayers for your comfort and peace. 🥰


        • #5
          oh that is horrible im sorry...
          we've been through that before as a system
          it's really horrible
          i think some forums like trevorspace have many systems that probably know what y'all are going through and can help


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