Life's Hard

[Unregistered]

So over the past like 3 years I have had really bad depression and anxiety (I'm 16 and a girl). I never told my parents or anyone because I didn't want people to think i wanted attention. Ive finally started to come out of my shell a little bit. I realized most of my problem was because I started not to trust people with anything and I just started to hate people and didn't want to have friends over because I thought all of them were ganging up on me and hated me. I have basically ruined my social life and I moved to a new school so I can't just hang out with them whenever. I really regret moving even though it wasn't my say. I always want to invite someone over but I feel like they won't want to hang out with me. And this is exactly my problem. I use my bad past experiences and automatically think that it will happen again. Then if they do say yes, they can come over. I get really bad anxiety and I feel like I am being boring because I am scared to say something. I dont have many people over now. How do i stop thinking about the past and just forget and be myself while I'm hanging out with someone?
Another problem is, I am getting more confident and dont think as much as I used to about the little things i did wrong. Now i actually want friends over but no one really hangs out with me anymore. I feel really lonely and its kind of embarrassing because everyone is out doing stuff this summer and I have literally been sitting at home on my computer doing nothing. I want to have fun with my friends again and hang out with people. Like i want to have 4 day sleepovers with one person like when i was 12. Now whenever I have a sleepover with someone (which happens like 2 times a month) they or I always leave in the mornings and then they go hang out with another friend. I want to be the fun friend like i used to be

[2NDFLOOR]

Thanks for reaching out. It sounds like you have been having a rough time with the new move. You mentioned that you have been experiencing depression and anxiety and based on what you wrote it seems as if you have never told anyone about it. I want to tell you having these feelings is nothing to feel shamed about. But the most important thing when having these feelings is to get help. It is possible that these feelings of depression and anxiety are negatively affecting your relationships with your friends, and preventing you from being the friend you used to be. That is why it is so important to speak with someone you trust, or even a professional counselor to help understand how these emotions can be affecting your personal relationships. If you feel that issues from your past continue to influence your present relationships that can be something that a counselor can help you work on and address. That way you can be more present in the moment when spending time with your friends.
If you would like to talk about this further please call us at the helpline at 888-222-2228 and we would be happy to help you discuss options that may be helpful.