Just once I really want someone to choose me

[Unregistered]

I don't have much to live for. My life consists of my three "friends" who treat me like I don't exist. I do have a best friend that actually cares about me, however, she lives in a different state and I rarely get to see her. I feel like the three friends don't really care about me because don't you think if they cared they would talk to me and want to hang out and do what friends do? Well, they don't. They only care about each other. And better yet, one of the three friends (let's call him J), is dating the other friend (let's call her B), and also B and (let's call her E) are better friends than I am with B. I have other friends I guess but I think it's better to call them 'school friends' because we only talk at school and we don't hangout after or anything.
I'm the back-up friend. People only talk to me when they need someone to talk to, When they need me, they lean on me, then they leave. And I'm so tired of being nice to people and going out of my way to make sure they're okay and happy just to be treated so badly in the end. I'm not anyone's first choice. I'm not anyone's favorite. People may tell me I mean a lot to them and that I'm special to them but I know there's someone they will always choose over me.
I feel invisible. I feel like I'm battling a silent war with no one to fight for me. I'm spending my only teenage years feeling like I want to jump off a cliff while others are having the time of their lives. I don't have anyone to be there for me when I need it most. How am I supposed to live like this?

[2NDFLOOR]

Thank you for reaching out to 2NDFLOOR. First I want to start by saying if you are having thoughts of suicide or want to harm yourself please call 911 or the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at (800) 273-8255 immediately. Feeling left out or feeling like you don't have friends you can count on can be extremely upsetting and frustrating. Sometimes friends don't even realize they are doing this until they are made aware. Relationships can make people distance themselves from friendships, but that's not because of you. You have a few options. You could talk to your three friends or the one that you feel closest to and talk to them about how you are feeling. If they are truly your friends they will take what you have to say and change their behavior. You could also try spending time with some of your "school" friends. If you want to me more then just school friends ask them what they are doing over the weekend or if they want to do something after school one day. Feeling invisible is scary and sad and I understand that. But no one will know you are feeling this way unless you talk to them about it. No one can fight for you if they don't understand what you are going through. I recommend talking to your parents, counselor, or another trusted adult about how you are feeling as well. You don't have to feel like this. If you want to talk more please call 2NDFLOOR Youth Helpline 24/7 or text us daily 4-8PM at 888-222-2228.

[Unregistered]

I told J how I was feeling but then he told our school counselor and B (which was not something I was planning on). Anyways, I've been seeing the counselor which led me to tell J that I feel sad when they leave me out and he understood and I thought things might get better but then he said something that hurt me again. And also my counselor said that if in a while things don't start to get better or they get worse, then she's going to have to call my parents. I get that she's just trying to help me, but in all honesty it would just make things worse for me.

[2NDFLOOR]

Thank you for reaching out to 2NDFLOOR again. Have you spoken to J about the comment he said to you? Maybe he didn't realize how if made you feel. I am not sure why the counselor would have to reach out to your parents, unless she thinks this is affecting you emotionally. She might feel your parents should get you some counseling. It sounds like you might need some additional support especially if you feel like you have no support from your friends and feel like you're "invisible". Please reach out for some help if you are still feeling this way. I am sure your parents would want to know because they love you and care about you.
Please feel free to call 2NDFLOOR 24/7 @ 888-222-2228 to speak to a counselor. It might help you talking to someone directly or you could text daily between 4-8 PM.