My father and mother are divorced and have been since I was 3. That doesn't bother me, what bothers me is that my father remarried to a bitch. I'm sorry for the strong words, but she really is. He met her soon after the split and has been with her ever since and got married in '07, so there isn't much I can say about her to my father because I don't know any different. I have also never had a strong relationship with my father; he can get very angry and it scares me to the point of not talking to him.
The problem is, ever since I started getting older and had more opinions and want to do things, my stepmom mocks me. To her I'm an awful child and I never do anything right. She told me I was a disappointment and that I'm a screw up and always will be. Whenever I'm happy about something she squashes it; I got into all three schools I applied to for High School and she told me that they must not know me well enough. And when I said my mother had been happy, she said that she isn't going to applaud me for being an average 14 year old. But I'm not! I am going to school and taking extra classes so I can do hair and makeup as soon as I get out of High School. She always tells me that I'm the worst child out of the 5. She said she rather have one of my cousins than me. And I'm not even her kid!! My father just sits there and says nothing. He is never home anyway, so why do I even go over there to see him? That's why I'm there, to see him, not her. I can't even defend myself either because I'm "back talking". She grounded me one time for defending myself. I just sit there and take it and it hurts. It sucks so much.
What really hurts is I have good memories of my parents being proud of me for getting straight As and going out places and now I don't even know if they love me or want me.
Here's the best part: They make me want to kill myself. I want to see the blood stain the carpet and feel my throat burn with bleach. I have written letters to the people I (hope) care for me. My thinking is if I'm such a disappointment then why be here? It's only a matter of time before I'm nothing to my mother or my best friend. And I love my best friend, she gets it. Her and my sister are the only reason I haven't done it; i don't want to hurt them. But I can't keep living and being hurt by them.
I don't know what to do. Do I report them? I want to, but I'm scared. I can't talk to them, obviously. So what do I do? My mother know what happens, but she can't afford to take them to court. I seriously think I can only get through with them if I kill myself, and even then they might say I did it for attention. Please help me.
The problem is, ever since I started getting older and had more opinions and want to do things, my stepmom mocks me. To her I'm an awful child and I never do anything right. She told me I was a disappointment and that I'm a screw up and always will be. Whenever I'm happy about something she squashes it; I got into all three schools I applied to for High School and she told me that they must not know me well enough. And when I said my mother had been happy, she said that she isn't going to applaud me for being an average 14 year old. But I'm not! I am going to school and taking extra classes so I can do hair and makeup as soon as I get out of High School. She always tells me that I'm the worst child out of the 5. She said she rather have one of my cousins than me. And I'm not even her kid!! My father just sits there and says nothing. He is never home anyway, so why do I even go over there to see him? That's why I'm there, to see him, not her. I can't even defend myself either because I'm "back talking". She grounded me one time for defending myself. I just sit there and take it and it hurts. It sucks so much.
What really hurts is I have good memories of my parents being proud of me for getting straight As and going out places and now I don't even know if they love me or want me.
Here's the best part: They make me want to kill myself. I want to see the blood stain the carpet and feel my throat burn with bleach. I have written letters to the people I (hope) care for me. My thinking is if I'm such a disappointment then why be here? It's only a matter of time before I'm nothing to my mother or my best friend. And I love my best friend, she gets it. Her and my sister are the only reason I haven't done it; i don't want to hurt them. But I can't keep living and being hurt by them.
I don't know what to do. Do I report them? I want to, but I'm scared. I can't talk to them, obviously. So what do I do? My mother know what happens, but she can't afford to take them to court. I seriously think I can only get through with them if I kill myself, and even then they might say I did it for attention. Please help me.
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