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Feeling Guilty
I am a straight guy who is 15 years old. About a month ago I did something very disturbing. I'm very upset that I did this and it is embarrassing for me to even tell this story. I went on the website omegle (which is a random video chat website) and masturbated to an old man who was masturbating. I blocked my "area" with my underwear so he did not actually see my privates and I did not show my face. I just feel really guilty for what I did. I feel like I am less of a man now that I did this disgusting thing. I guess I just wasn't thinking at the time and I did something strange and stupid. It just upsets me thinking about this because i know that i only like girls and i don't know what would possess me to do this. I have been feeling nonstop anxiety, guilt, and regret over the past month and I just wish it would stop. Is what I did really that bad and should I continue worrying? I know that what I did was wrong and I plan to never go on omegle or do anything like that ever again in my life. I thought this would be the best place to get this off my chest because I don't think I could tell anyone this story in person.
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Hi Feeling guilty,
It is normal that at 15 years of age you may want to experiment; and also is very normal that you have the frequent desire to masturbate. All boys of your age range do masturbate. In reality this desire does not have anything to do with your sexual orientation and who you are sexually and emotionally attracted too. Your actions, more likely has to do with your curiosity, or wanting sexual validation, but it does not define your integrity as a person, you are still growing and developing. So you should stop worrying and do not feel guilty, this is all part of growing and maturing. Everyone at one point or another does things that makes them feel guilty, but that does not define who you are as a person now, or in the future life.
What I would suggest is to make sure that before you act on certain impulses you reflect on how your actions might impact you as a person, before you act on them; so you do not experience later regret or guilt about the experience.
It seems that the site you are speaking of might be targeted for an older population; because as adults those who frequent the site may have a better understanding and knowledge of themselves.
It might be beneficial for you to explore sites that are geared to teenagers so you can engage in more meaningful conversations, which would improve your self-esteem instead of making you feel regret, guilt, and shame of your actions. You can always call us at the call center at 888-222-2228 if you want to further discuss this issue or for any other issue that you might need help with. I hope this has helped in giving you clarity and a better perspective. Good luck and please call us. -
Response to feeling guilty
This is the same person who made this thread. I just wanted to say thank you. This really made me feel a lot better. The only thing is I hope I wasn't recorded when I was on that site. I have heard stories about people who were recorded on omegle and things like that. I wouldn't want that creepy guy to have footage of me on camera. I'm pretty sure my face wasn't shown though and I know not to make this mistake again. But anyway thanks for the help.Comment
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This the same person who made the thread. Do you think what I did was really that bad?Comment
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Hi there,
You seem to have made some mature decisions about not visiting the site again and there is no judgment here from the counselors at 2nd floor, we are only here to help and offer support. If you want to speak to us by phone our number is 888-222-2228. We are here 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
Take care.Comment
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