I don't even know what to say

[Unregistered]

I saw my school promoting this website and giving all the students your guys' number. We were talking about drug abuse and how when someone is hurting, they may turn to extreme things. During this meeting, telling you that I was crying is an understatement. You have no idea how much I cried, it was so bad I think I started crying as soon as this girl had started talking. She had told everyone that they were meant to stick out, and were made perfectly for the world, and we shouldn't try to change ourselves. She continued to tell us multiple stories about how broken she was when she was a child, and she chose to do the wrong things, smoking, drinking, doing drugs, etc. I can't say that I have the most terrible life, that my life sucks and no one has it as bad as me, because in reality, I have an amazing life. I have two amazing parents and two loving siblings, but my parents aren't always so loving. They scream, and threaten to hit me, my dad has threatened to pin me against a wall and bash my head against it, because i had told my friend about some disagreements my dad and I were going through. Both, my mom and my dad, are also extremely homophobic, and my dad, every once and a while, yells at me for what I'm wearing because "I look like a lesbian." He has said he wants to throw out all of my clothes, and get me 'normal' kid clothes. Now me, I like to believe I'm bi, but I lean more towards the lesbian side. And it hurts so, so much, to hear your own parents talk terribly about people for their life decisions. I also remember another time when I went to the store with my mom, and there was a lesbian couple, who walked into the store, holding hands. I smiled as we walked out the store and my mom scoffed loudly saying "Those girls were holding hands." And I said something like "Good for them." There are many more examples but i already feel bad for taking up space on this forum so I'm going to stop. Thank you.

[2NDFLOOR]

I am sorry to hear you are going through this. First of all, if you feel unsafe in your house because you're afraid your parents are going to hurt you, you need to seek out help. Whether it's the counselor or someone you trust at school or another relative, please speak out so you could get help.
There are many people who believe that couples should only be heterosexual and it sounds like your parents feel that way. Many people are brought up like that and it is difficult for them to change their views. I think it would be helpful to you to reach out to the following websites/hotlines. I think it will help you deal with some of the things you are feeling. Gay & Lesbian National Hotline (888) 843-4564 www.glbtnationalhelpcenter.org/hotline Information for callers of all ages about coming-out issues, relationship concerns, HIV/AIDS anxiety and safer-sex information and more. Mon-Fri 4pm-12am. You can also try: National GLBT Talk Line (800) 246-7743 www.youthtalkline.org For youth in GLBT community. Monday-Friday 8pm-12am. Please remember you do not have to speak to your parents about this until you are ready.
If you do not want to speak to anyone on a hotline, please check out the websites. There are some chats, and I think it will help you know that you are not the only one going through this.
Please reach out to 2ndfloor anytime 24/7 by text, phone or message board. We are here to help if you have any more questions or concerns.