Haunting past

[I have faith I'm strong]

Ok so here it goes. I'm 16 (f)and in middle school I was sexually harassed and treated less for being a girl but I didn't know it back then but lately it's been coming up and I don't know 100% if it was. A part of me knows it is but the other half says it's not and says it's just boys being boys. I don't wanna be seen as a victim so I don't like to believe it is but the more and more it keeps coming up the more i realize it is sexual harassment. This boy would tell his friend to come up behind me and try to look down my shirt. This second guy was a little slow so I don't really blame him. Truthfully I don't blame anyone, it is what it is and now that I'm being honest I feel that if I am honest with myself I don't blame anyone so that way there's no chance I can be a victim. I understand it's not that big of a deal and people have it worse but I can't shake this and it's annoying me. I've learned to live with it but it won't leave me alone. This use to cause me rape nightmares since this one kid (I don't know if he was joking) threatened to destroy (/rape) me and I slowly got over the nightmares and now I'm starting to all kinds of nightmares now.
This past is really annoying me, I know
I'm strong but im scared it might brake me. Also it turns out my last boyfriend was verbally abuse and almost physically and I didn't know until after he broke up with me. Everything bad keeps creeping up and annoying me. It's like this none stop reminder that my mind just keeps giving me. I've been wanting to tell an adult but I'm scared I'm gunna get blamed for everything and I know I can't handle that. I just wanna get rid of this past and hopefully posting it here will help. If anything, does anyone know how to tell an adult something like this? It's just so humiliating and I've kept this secret for so long and I can't stop thinking that they'll say it's my fault. I really hope putting this out there makes me feel better. One last thing (im sorry) how do you stop guys from guilting you into things. Like i say no then they say something and i feel guilty and end up giving in. How do I stop this, because I'm tired of being used.
Ps: I'm sorry if this triggers anyone or if I annoy or offend anyone and sorry for being all over the place. Sorry for the long rant post thing.

[2NDFLOOR]

I am glad that you reached out to us. It sounds like you have experienced a lot of sexual harassment and threats, this is not acceptable for anyone to do to you so don't apologize for feeling upset about this. First, take advantage of your guidance counselor’s services since you are in school, talk about what has happened and how this has affected you. It is a safe place that is confidential for you to talk & he/she can get you additional help outside of school if needed. Also, if you are harassed in school again then report it, report it to guidance, teachers & principals. They will have to do something. Now as far as this boy that threatened to rape you, you should tell your parents and make a police report, again if in school report it there too. At least it will be on record.
No means no, so if you are uncomfortable doing anything with a boy and he pressures you then he is not respecting you. Visit, Love is Respect at http://www.loveisrespect.org/ and you can even call or text them at 1.866.331.9474 or text: LOVEIS TO 22522. Remember it is not your fault that you were sexually harassed or made to feel less then so don’t apologize for your feelings, you didn't cause this. You are not alone so please take the first step and reach out to guidance, take advantage of your resources that are free to you and he/she can help you talk to your parents about what has happened as well. If you need to talk about this or anything else please call 2NDFLOOR at 888-222-2228 or text us anytime. We are here 24/7.