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I am a self proclaimed lesbian. I came out as bi and then quickly transitioned to a lesbian. I keep have this mental battle with myself about whether I'm bisexual or gay. I get really deep into my feelings and ask myself some crazy ass things... For example, what if I was attracted to gay men? I was raised supporting the LGBTQ+ community and it's always been a strong passion of mine. I geek out when there's gay men couples on TV, does that mean something? I know whether a guy is "hot" or not, but I tell myself I'm not attracted to them. The same thing with shoes, I know a cute pair when I see them, doesn't mean I'm attracted to shoes. Sometimes I worry that when I tell myself that I am strictly a lesbian, it's just my crave to be diverse from everyone else. But then again, there's no doubt that I'm attracted to girls, either way. People tell me that I owe it to myself to have experiences. But I feel like those homophobic parents, only the opposite. I tell myself that I can't marry a guy, so therefore I can't be bi. Please help, this is getting too weird for me.
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I wish I had an easy answer for you! After reading your post I automatically thought that you are overthinking, especially when you compared your attraction with gay guys to shoes. It's the same type of thing with lets say straight girls. Girls check out other girls all the time and that does not mean they are a lesbian or bi. Girls have even hooked up/explored sexual feelings with girls out of curiosity and it still does not mean they are a lesbian or bi. It's natural no matter what your sexuality is to be attracted to things of your taste without a deeper meaning being involved. It can be the same for couples in a heterosexual relationship. They may be attracted to a person walking by, but the feeling does not go further than that. Also, craving uniqueness and being a lesbian are completely separate. Being a lesbian or GBT is no longer unique in this world...it is in fact extremely common. So do not second guess that factor about your personality and relate it to your sexuality. Again, I think you just need to take a deep breath and calm your mind from over analyzing every thought that pops into your head! If you would like to talk about this further please call or text us at the 2NDFLOOR Youth Helpline. We are here 24/7 at 888-222-2228. Hope this helped some!
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