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Hurt and Confused
I am a struggling teenage lesbian and I try to talk through my issues with one of my gay uncles. I’ve done a lot of self-reflecting lately and I’ve analyzed everything my uncle has said to me. While doing so, I managed to stress myself out even more. Now I have a billion questions, dying to be answered.
My five gay “uncles” are really just close family friends, but to me they are more than family. When meeting their friends, they don’t introduce me as their niece. It hurts my feelings and I question whether they feel the same way about me.
I don’t think my uncles know how much they mean to me, or the significant impact they’ve made in my life. For crying out loud, I wrote two essays about how important they are to me and what they symbolize. When I’m around them, I get this miserable feeling like they don’t care about me the same way I care about them. I would’ve told my uncles about the essays, but I was so afraid that they would think I was clingy and obsessive.
This has become something I get anxious and really upset about. I can’t force them to care about me, but I wish they knew how I felt. I see them on average, maybe once a year. So is it strange that they’ve become a substantial part of my life?
One of my uncles and I had a long discussion last weekend and it encouraged me, but it was upsetting at the same time. He told me that he will always be my friend, but because we live so far apart, there’s a huge disconnect. I’m not sure what he meant by this, but I can only guess. I took it as I can always talk to him when he’s around, but I shouldn’t count on him to be my counselor because he doesn’t have all the answers.
My uncle continuously said that I have it really good, but that he’s not downplaying my issues. He also said that my obstacles will get better with time, and that I’m growing up in a progressive generation for gays. He told me that he couldn’t talk to anyone about being gay when he was a teenager. It makes me feel silly for feeling the need to talk to someone about it.
My uncles had it way worse than me, I know I need to stop comparing my issues with other peoples’, but it’s relatively about the same thing. If they couldn’t talk to someone about it when they were younger, why is it so necessary for me to? Why can’t I be strong like them and just deal? I mean, they’ve gotten death threats and couldn’t be publicly open about their relationship, afraid of being harassed. So what, people call me dyke and threaten to beat me, why do I have to make it such a big deal?
I think the end of last weekend was the worst part. When it was time to say goodbye, I was in tears. I yearned to have that moment when they finally understood how important they are to me. My uncles are the only people I can be around without having to worry if they’ll hate me when I come out. I can only expect love and acceptance from them.
Because I’m the only gay kid in school, finding someone to relate to is nearly impossible. I believe that’s why I genuinely value the relationship between my uncles and I. Sometimes I wonder if they don’t feel the same way I do because we’re not really related. Which I know is silly, but it’s still a concern of mine.
Please help me, I'm too confused to take this one on by myself.
My five gay “uncles” are really just close family friends, but to me they are more than family. When meeting their friends, they don’t introduce me as their niece. It hurts my feelings and I question whether they feel the same way about me.
I don’t think my uncles know how much they mean to me, or the significant impact they’ve made in my life. For crying out loud, I wrote two essays about how important they are to me and what they symbolize. When I’m around them, I get this miserable feeling like they don’t care about me the same way I care about them. I would’ve told my uncles about the essays, but I was so afraid that they would think I was clingy and obsessive.
This has become something I get anxious and really upset about. I can’t force them to care about me, but I wish they knew how I felt. I see them on average, maybe once a year. So is it strange that they’ve become a substantial part of my life?
One of my uncles and I had a long discussion last weekend and it encouraged me, but it was upsetting at the same time. He told me that he will always be my friend, but because we live so far apart, there’s a huge disconnect. I’m not sure what he meant by this, but I can only guess. I took it as I can always talk to him when he’s around, but I shouldn’t count on him to be my counselor because he doesn’t have all the answers.
My uncle continuously said that I have it really good, but that he’s not downplaying my issues. He also said that my obstacles will get better with time, and that I’m growing up in a progressive generation for gays. He told me that he couldn’t talk to anyone about being gay when he was a teenager. It makes me feel silly for feeling the need to talk to someone about it.
My uncles had it way worse than me, I know I need to stop comparing my issues with other peoples’, but it’s relatively about the same thing. If they couldn’t talk to someone about it when they were younger, why is it so necessary for me to? Why can’t I be strong like them and just deal? I mean, they’ve gotten death threats and couldn’t be publicly open about their relationship, afraid of being harassed. So what, people call me dyke and threaten to beat me, why do I have to make it such a big deal?
I think the end of last weekend was the worst part. When it was time to say goodbye, I was in tears. I yearned to have that moment when they finally understood how important they are to me. My uncles are the only people I can be around without having to worry if they’ll hate me when I come out. I can only expect love and acceptance from them.
Because I’m the only gay kid in school, finding someone to relate to is nearly impossible. I believe that’s why I genuinely value the relationship between my uncles and I. Sometimes I wonder if they don’t feel the same way I do because we’re not really related. Which I know is silly, but it’s still a concern of mine.
Please help me, I'm too confused to take this one on by myself.
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