FtM

[Unregistered]

Hi. I recently came out to my mom and sister. I am 14. I am a girl biologically. I am pansexual. I have been saying that im genderqueer but still identifying as a girl. But I don't know if I'm really genderqueer. The only gender that I seem to, and want to portray is that I'm a boy. Sometimes, I will get so caught up in the fact that I feel like a boy that I forget I am a girl. Nobody really accepts me when I go out in public. I am always noticing the stares from everyone. I dress and act like a boy and pretty much pass for one until someone says my girly name. It sucks.
Also, I have been binding my breasts lately with 3 sports bras. It gets really uncomfortable. I want to ask to buy a binder, and I know my mom would let me, but I'm too scared for some reason. I also want to ask get even shorter hair and boxers and guy clothes. I felt so weird asking for axe the other week and she and my sister gave me a look. I also really want to start testosterone injections possibly. How much are those by the way? And how old do I need to be for a name change? Or at least how can I make the name Emily into a guys name? Sorry for all the questions. I just need to know what to do. I am driving myself crazy! Especially since I'm going back to school soon and I don't know how I want to identify when I get there. Please help me, it would be greatly appreciated.

[2NDFLOOR]

It sounds like your mom and sister are really supportive of you, which is great. It seems like the best approach in this situation would be to just be open and honest with your family. Take some time to sort out your thoughts and develop a plan to talk to them. This is often a helpful approach. As far as testosterone injections, it would be best to discuss this with your doctor. There may be an age requirement so getting some information from a professional would be the best approach. Also, do some research on changing your name. Try a simple online search for information in your state. You may find it helpful to brainstorm a list of names that you may like having and take some time to decide which one you like best. Also, sometimes it takes time to sort out your identity. There is no rush even once school starts. Please call 2NDFLOOR anytime at 888-222-2228 for more help.

[Unregistered]

Re: FtM

I'm an FtM too. I'm with you on getting an actual binder, I have two from underworks and they work great and I don't feel them there for the most part. About your name, Emily is my middle name, and I have considered male variations of it. The actual male version of the name is Emil, but if you don't like that, you can go with Miles or Emit. But you have to be 18 and moved out of your parent's house to change it on your own. Otherwise you'd need your parents' full cooperation. And with family, I know talking about these things is really awkward. Sometimes its avoidable, sometimes not. What I did for axe was I saved up my own money for it and bought it at the local dollar store. I did that with the underwear too. I suggest boxer-briefs though, because if you use pads instead of tampons, it's almost impossible to use them with boxers. And testosterone will be difficult to get, depending on your age. First, you need an endocrinologist (a hormone doctor). And to get an endocrinologist, usually you have to be referred by a gender therapist. I go to a gender therapist every friday with my parents. Hope this has helped! If you want any more help from me, post another thread with FtM or transgender in the title, and ask for the one who replied last time (me) and I'll answer