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My whole life I've been anxious over tiny things and it's come to the point where it is terribly affecting my school participation grades and my ability to see my friends because I usually bail out on their parties. I stopped having friends over besides a few from marching band in around 5th grade, which was the year my mother started to pick on me a lot and she kind of broke down my self esteem. I always feel uncomfortable talking to others that I am not close with and I often find myself crying before a presentation.., I freak out when I even think i am going to be a minute late for something, and i often overthink my actions and how they will affect me months from now, even though I know they won't really matter (for tiny things). I want to get tested for anxiety, depression, and possibly other things but because my mom is the person who has created this anxious part of me, asking her for me to be tested would result in me having to explain why and then she'd rant on about how she's only done and said good things to me... I just don't know if I actually have these things and it's not just me thinking I have them. I just feel it would be good for me to be able to understand myself more. Is there any online test I could take that is reliable for this kind of thing so I can try and figure out how to help myself ??
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Glad you reached out to us. The little things in life can matter a great deal so don’t belittle your feelings. It is okay to feel the way you do! Sorry to hear that you have a little bit of a strained relationship with your mom, but hopefully as you get older the relationship will improve. Getting help for your anxiety/depression definitely sounds like a great idea for you. Start with guidance and then even have guidance bring your mom in to talk about therapy outside of school. You can be honest with guidance counselor but you could just explain to your mom for the time being (with guidance counselor there) that you have a lot of pressure and feel anxious about a lot so you want to talk to a therapist or something like that? Don’t worry about having to dive right into talking about your mom causing so much anxiety at first, just take the first step to try to get some help for yourself and the therapist can help with the rest. You are not alone there are people who can and want help you feel your best & start being able to socialize again. IF you want to talk more about this or anything call 2NDFLOOR Youth Helpline 24/7 or text us at 888-222-2228.
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