I'm still very scared

[Unregistered]

I have been having suicidal thoughts and anxiety for about four months now. I've cut myself five times now in the last month. Four out of the five were minor cuts that didn't even bleed. I was terrified to tell anyone. I final worked up the courage to tell two of my friends. This was good and bad; it was good because I told someone, but it was bad because once I said everything I freaked out and have been waking up at four in the morning and not gone back to sleep because of it. One of my friends told a teacher, without me knowing, at my school and I was sent to my guidance counselor's office. We only talked about my anxiety, even though she knows about the cutting. I'm scheduled to see her again on Monday. I might also see a physiologist soon. I'm glad that I'm not alone in this anymore, but I hate that I'm still terrified out of my mind.

[2NDFLOOR]

I'm sorry to hear that you are going through this. I understand that you are scared right now but luckily you have some really helpful things on your side. First of all, what great friends you have- to care about you that much to report it and risk you being mad or never trusting her again. You should be very thankful because this friend has helped to save your life. I'm glad to hear that you have already been to the counselor and are scheduled to see her again on Monday. You need to talk about this in order to get healthy. It's also really great that you may see a psychologist too-this could only help you even more. The most important part is that you are not alone anymore. It's normal to still be scared because you opened up about something that you kept to yourself for so long. As some time goes on and you get more comfortable talking about your feelings and thoughts the less terrified you will be. You must trust that. Here are some websites you should check out:
www.reachout.com
http://sioutreach.org/coping-and-rec...ng-with-urges/
www.hopeline.com
If you would like to talk about this further please call or text us here at the 2NDFLOOR Youth Helpline. We are here 24/7 at 888-222-2228. Think positive!

[Unregistered]

I'm still scared part two

Last night was the first night in two days that I actually slept all the way through. When I woke up this morning I felt back to "normal." I'm having difficulty determining if all that happened yesterday was real. I don't know if I'm in denial or shock or something else. is this normal or is there something more wrong with me. At the moment I don't see any reason why I need help.

[2NDFLOOR]

It sounds like you've been experiencing somewhat of an emotional roller-coaster recently. Your difficulty with staying asleep the whole night through seems like it could be connected to "freaking out" after you shared about your anxiety and self-injury with your friends. Again, feeling scared after sharing something so personal is totally understandable. It was very brave of you to open up to your friends, and that's something you can feel proud of! It sounds like your friends care deeply about you and want you to feel better. Although being honest with your friends - and even reaching out to this message board - can be scary, it can also help you to feel like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders. That decrease in tension or anxiety may account for you being able to sleep all the way through last night. This is also an understandable reaction after having the courage to express yourself.

While you may feel completely "normal" right now and not see why visiting your school's guidance counselor or a psychologist might be necessary, it's important to still seek help. By speaking to your guidance counselor and/or psychologist, you can explore what lead you to feel those painful emotions in the first place and find new and healthier ways to cope instead of hurting yourself. Similar to how sharing your experiences with your friends and this message board may have influenced a decrease in your anxiety, having a safe space to express yourself in counseling can also help you to feel better. If you'd like to get more support with your emotions or learn more about counseling/therapy, you can call or text us 24/7 at 888-222-2228. Thank you for reaching out to 2NDFLOOR Youth Helpline!