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Well, I've finished my will and I've been trying to figure out what date I should commit suicide on. I'm really tired and doubt I'll be able to find the will tov live anymore. I'm very apathetic in general but now I just don't care on a higher level. For example I have insomnia so I've been taking more and more meletonin even though unfortunately I can't overdose. Been looking into the most successful ways to commit suicide. Been sleeping either too much or to little like I either get 4-5 hours normally or if I don't get up at all 16-18+ he's of sleep. I really don't care if I live and no amount of people saying " You're 16 it's just a phase" is going to change that. I have at least another week and a half before I go see my counsiler but I'm contemplating weather just to commit suicide on the 7th. I've been self harming for close to 8 years and just want everything to stop. My anxiety feels like it's through the roof so I've been smoking for the past few months. So really through all of this word vomit, should I plan on attempting sooner or later because I don't want to end up in the loony bin.
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I am glad you reached out to 2NDFLOOR, it took a lot of courage to reach out so don’t give up! I just want to start off by saying that if you are in danger of harming yourself this minute please contact 911 right away or contact the Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255. You can also go to your local hospital’s ER and tell them that you need a crisis evaluation because you are feeling suicidal.
I can understand suffering from feelings of hopelessness and having suicidal thoughts can be overwhelming and ignoring the thoughts will be difficult, but you are writing us a message board so take the next step. Reach out to a professional right away to get help! There are people who can and want to help you start to feel better and less hopeless. Have you thought about telling someone you trust about your feelings? Trusted relative or friend? Mom? Dad? Sibling? People you trust can be a great support for you at this time, so think about it. I hope you realize that you are stronger then you know, like I mentioned before it took a lot of strength to reach out and tell us, so please reach out and get yourself professional help! If you need further assistance then don’t hesitate to call 2NDFLOOR at any time to talk at 888-222-2228. We are here 24/7 to help you! You can also text us daily from 12-8PM. You are not alone!!
Here are additional support links that is a suicide prevention website at www.metanoia.org/suicide & NJ Hopeline 855-654-6735 or visit website @ http://njhopeline.com/index.htm. You can also chat live on the website.
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