I am 15 going on 16 in may. I have been home-schooled my whole life and I have skipped a grade. I am currently trying to catch up in 11th grade but I am starting to lose it. I used to self harm for many years but this is the first year I have been a year clean. I am the oldest of 6 so that means I already have a lot of responsibility on top of school and chores. Yesterday was the first time in a while that I almost threw up do to stress, anxiety, depression, and a bunch of other factors. I ended up dry-heaving do to not having anything to throw up because I haven't been eating properly. I have been trying my hardest and best to keep it together but I don't know how much more I can take. I think another reason I am stressed out is because I am doing 12th grade as well as collage at the same time and I need to keep my grades up. I feel so tired but I can't go to sleep resulting in me having 4-5 hrs or if I'm lucky 6hrs on a regular school night but if I don't have school (like on Saturday) I can sleep up to 16-18 hrs strait. I don't know what to do anymore. I even went back to using rubber bands so I don't relapse and so my family doesn't find out. If nothing else can you help me figure out how to sleep better.
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I am sorry to hear that you are having such a hard time right now. You have a lot on your plate with school so think about taking a step back and reflecting on what needs to get done first with your work. Set up a time for you to stop all work so that you can rest and rejuvenate yourself everyday. Its not the worst thing in the world to take things slower with school, so if doing college work with high school work is too much then stop. Not only are you overwhelming yourself physically and emotionally but when you feel run down you are not at your best for school either! Remember thought, your health is the most important thing, everything else can wait! You should talk to your parents about your stress because throwing up from stress or feeling like you want to self-harm again is not good. Is there anyone you trust that you can talk to? If your nervous about talking to your parents write them a note about your feelings. If you don't slow down and take care of yourself you will only end up getting worse so think about it. If you need further support with cutting, call 800-DONTCUT (366-8288)- www.selfinjury.com or you can call us! If you want to talk about this or anything, call 2NDFLOOR @ 888-222-2228 or you can daily on Fridays from 4-8 pm.
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