I think I want to kill myself.

[Unregistered]

I'm a 14 year old 200+ pound male. all my life I've been fatter and bigger than everyone else and I've always gotten picked on for it all my life also. now that I'm reaching high school my life has honestly just started to go downhill. I'm in love with this girl and it seems like she just flirts with me when she needs someone in her corner but when she gets the attention she wants she leaves me. this girl is a singer and asked me to join the school play. of course, I've had experience with school musicals before and I would love to join if it means spending time with her because honestly, I do believe she likes me as her best friend, just not the way I like her. but in order for me to join the play I had to quit the track team I was in. I was on the track team for less than two weeks before she got me to try out for the play. now I feel like I did horrible in my audition and I don't even think I'm going to make the cast. if I don't make the cast, I won't even go be allowed back on the track team and I won't be able to do anything. my grades have also just been going down also. not because of the girl, but because I don't do my homework. it's hard to focus on homework when I have all this anxiety going on, so I'm failing four of my classes. I really don't know what to do and I feel like I have no one to talk to about this. I really feel like it's time to give up on my life.

[2NDFLOOR]

First, I must say that you titled your post, I think I want to kill myself so if you truly feel that way I encourage you to call 911, go to a local ER or call The National Prevention Suicide Helpline at 1-800-273-8255! You are not alone, there are people who can and want to help you! Professionals can help you sort out what you are struggling with emotionally. You wrote about your weight, so if you are anxious and unhappy about your weight then go to the doctor to get a physical and make a plan for yourself to get healthy. Talk to your parents and tell them you need to get help with your weight loss so you feel better! Successful, safe and long term weight loss starts with medical monitoring by your physician. Most successful weight loss programs involve an individual having contact with several different professionals in conjunction with their personal physician. For example, your personal physician may refer you to a nutritionist, a personal trainer and a counselor, all of whom bring a different skill to the table to insure your weight loss is safe and long term. Also, the weight loss coaches can help you with your anxiety that you have about your appearance. Please schedule an appointment with your doctor and begin the process of feeling better emotionally and physically. Remember, you have to take one step at a time because it takes time to lose weight. I hope that helped and if you need to talk further at any time please call 2NDFLOOR at 888-222-2228, we are here 24-7 or text us daily between 4-8PM.