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I figured this fits into this category because its mental. Ok... probably words wont really express what I want to say or feel, but try to really understand. So, I feel attached to my teacher. I went through dark times, and during these times, she was my sisters teacher and she knows alot about my sister and she had a closer relationship with my sister, since my sis had alopecia.This teacher admired my sister more than anyone else. And now I have her one more yr and its Like I want her to know my struggles, vulnerability, sadness. I feel like she symbolizes my past self that struggled, and I believe if shes not there, im lost and detached from that self. she makes me feel connected, and I want her support and encouragement more than anything in the world. Whenever I didn't see her in school, I felt not as excited and I felt everything is boring. Shes becoming old now, like 50s and afraid shes gonna die. I wish I can still visit her in 20 yrs. Im crying because I feel like she bcame part of my soul. we dont have a really close relationship, but I feel it.
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theres more
continued... is that like a mental condition (ocd)? I know this is wierd, and even though its anonymous, It still took me the courage to write all that, since I never shared this with anyone. So when my sister had her like 5 yrs ago, she was also obsessed with her. Then after she left hair, shr quit that class cuz no teacher really was nice to her... and I dont want that to happen to me. Ps. Shes the music teacher. Im afraid that once I leave her, the new teacher wouldn't understand my self esteem struggles or give me support, esspecially when performing. I keep imagining scenarios where im like crying and shes there to comfort me. I want her to love me like a daughter. Something is special about that teacher, and there probably wont be nice teacher like her... since my sister never said allteachers are not like her.
I know this is wierd, but I feel like aftee I leave junior high, I will be COMPLETELY lost without her, hoping shes there to support me, and will probably think "I wish she's here". Now before I end it, I had a tough past, anxiety, and I keep going back in time. -
Even though these posts are anonymous I can understand how difficult it is to open up to someone and to write these feelings and experiences down. It takes a lot of courage to write a post like this. We are proud of you for reaching out and want to help you in any way that we can. It's natural to feel a strong connection to a trusted adult or someone that you admire. In many points in your life you are bound to find another people that give you a similar feeling. Instead of worrying about her death (she could be around for another 30 or more!) be thankful for the time you have with her now. We will meet people in our lives that shape us and that influence and help us grow as people. This teacher may be one of those people for you. I can understand the feeling that someone else may not understand what you have gone through, and maybe that's something you want to discuss with her. If she's comfortable with it you could continue to contact her when you want to catch up, maybe through email. However, as you get older there is a greater chance that you will meet other people that relate to your struggle and your experiences. As far as your anxiety goes have you ever thought of talking to someone about it? Not just this teacher but maybe a school counselor or someone outside of school? It can be helpful to develop coping skills to help manage this anxiety so that you don't keep going back in time or focusing on all the bad things that could happen. If you want to talk more you can post back or call 2NDFLOOR Youth Helpline we are here 24/7 at 888-222-2228 or text us daily 4-8PM at 908-280-0235!Comment
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therapy?
Thanks for not making me feel wierd about it! I never really talked to this teacher, but she "gets it" and she understands mental health issues. She just makes me feel "home". In case u haven't noticed, I lack family/friends support. If I want to accomplish anything, it would because of her. My main concern is... that I would stop trying if shes not around me. I feel like I need therapy, but my parents will be like "grow up! You worry alot about ur mental health for no reason. You can talk to us rather than strangers". Thats why im attached to my teacher, because I have no support and no one understands my how its like to be me... except her. Now when school starts, im planning to tell my councelor to tell me parents that I need therapy. What exactly can I tell her to say to my parents? What if my parents give me a hard time? When im at the therapy, is everything going to be private? Do they have to talk to my parents? Ugh! Im stuck!Comment
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helllo?
Im sorry if I am being annoying. Is somebody gonna answer this?Comment
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its hitting me right now
Im crying right now. I keep wishing that id restart last yr to have more time with her. Heres what happens to my brain :my sister had her 5yrs ago, and she kept talking about that teacher. 5 yrs ago I was being bullied at the same time I made amazing memories that is cry because I want them again. Now, that have this teacher, I keep thinking about that time my sister had her, and what was happening To Me and how I was suffering on the inside. Its like I make a connection between the time my sister had her which when I was young and bullied to now (the result of being bullied). Ithat doesnt make sense at all... but its the best I can do. ) like for example, I put it this way... "the time my sister walked to her room, was probably the time ppl gossiping about me and me crying." Its like im "being my sister" and that terrible period of my time. Thats why I say this teacher symbolizes something in my life. I know most od the high school teachers, and non of them are as friendly. Im crying because I will miss her support and I feel like she knows my story(now thats the connection that im making: the story during the time she had MY sister and when I met her 5 yrs ago at the chorus concert not knowing i will have a low self esteem and I was internally tormented to now when I have her and im being sad about things and bullying that happen back at that time". Remember: 5 yrs later, which is now, Im still attached to the horrible trauma that happened and I cant seem to shake it. nobody knows my story, but she would understand. Plz help me. Sorry for being annoying.Comment
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helllo?
Im still waiting for a responseComment
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It sounds like your teacher was supportive and gave you a should to lean and that is very important. At this time, it sounds like you need to process and work through this trauma with a therapist. There are several types of therapy that are very helpful in helping you overcome these thoughts and feelings. A therapist will also help you develop coping skills to help manage this anxiety so that you don't keep going back in time or focusing on all the bad things that could happen. If you want to talk more you can post back or call 2NDFLOOR Youth Helpline we are here 24/7 at 888-222-2228 or text us daily 4-8PM at 908-280-0235!Comment
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