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Live or Die?
I am sick of all this emotional cr*p. I am done with always being depressed, with always wanting to relapse, with trying to be happy when I'm not. I'm sick of playing this charade where I am always "happy" so that other people don't look at how sh*tty I feel. I am done with life, I was never cut out for it. I know I should be great full of being alive but I'm not. I just want to go to sleep and never wake up. I am tired of trying not to relapse when I have self harmed for eight years. I am tired of wanting to commit suicide and not be able to go through with it. I am just Done! If I can't find a logical reason to stay alive in a week, I will just go and off myself. I can't keep going through my own personal hell anymore. I am done.
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Thank you for reaching out to 2NDFLOOR. I'm sorry to hear how you have been feeling for such a long time. Remember if you are having thoughts of suicide or believe that you might attempt suicide contact 911 right away or call the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1 800 273 8255 to talk about these thoughts. By reaching out to us you have already shown, that even if you can't realize it now, you do want to live. Suicide is a very permanent solution to a temporary problem. I know how awful it might feel right now, but with help you don't have to feel this way everyday. If you aren't already, find a counselor or therapist that you can talk to on a weekly basis. Talk to people you trust about how you are feeling whether that's friends, family, teachers, or us. The logical reason to stay alive is that you still have so much life to live. This is a rough patch, but something that with help you can work through. I know it seems like something that will never end, but there are millions of people struggling with depression each day. People who felt the way you do now, but who asked for help and began treatment that they needed. Reaching out to us and living with these feelings everyday shows how brave and strong you are. We want to help you in anyway that we can. If you call us we can talk these thoughts out with you which you might find helpful. Please call 2NDFLOOR Youth Helpline anytime, we are here 24/7 at 888-222-2228 or text us every Friday 4-8PM at 908-280-0235 we want to help!! You don't have to go through this alone!
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