I'm confused about myself

[2NDFLOOR]

You are not alone! There is help and support available. So please reach out to talk to someone. You can call 988 for support 24/7 at the suicide and crisis lifeline, https://988lifeline.org/. Sorry you are going through a tough time at home. That must be hurtful to hear those things, have you ever been able to talk to them about how you feel? Maybe reach out to your school counselor too. They are a resource at your fingertips and they can support you since you mentioned you want a therapist. Here is another resource https://www.mentalhealthishealth.us/mental-health-101/ that can offer you tips on coping and psycho education. If you want to talk please reach out to 2NDFLOOR at 888-222-2228 by texting or calling anytime.

I love my family and all but I'm just so confused, my parents are a little abusive and I was bullied in elementary and my mom basically abandoned me. I've been sa multiple times and I feel like I'm over dramatic I think because the way my dad says stuff like "your not good enough" or "your worthless" just gets to me, even though he is the one who sa me even tho it was unintentional but continues to drink. I mean he's trying to quit but it makes it worse, and my mom isn't helpful either, there's times I wish I where dead so I don't suffer or just to hurt them too but I need to be here for my friends who are also very depressed, I really want a therapist but everytime I mention it my parents flip out they already saw sh scars on my arm, my mom said she will send me away if I do it again but I still do, well I don't really i stopped but then started because it winter it's easier to cover and I'm just tired all the time I don't have motivation and just school work entirely just feels like too much. To be honest I don't want to feel numb if this makes sense. I dont know what to do I would like advice if you could get any