My problems are not about PMSing, they are real, trust me

[Unregistered]

So...I Have nobody to talk to. So I thought second floor is great. So quick facts about me. I am going to eighth grade this fall. I dont date because it is against my religion in islam. I used to be a gymnast. My parents believe when I get my period, I should be starting to dress approprietly not to show much skin. Google how teenage girls live being Muslim so you understand the point. I got my period before but I did not tell my parents because I dont want them to treat me like a teenager. Telling me what I can and cant do, what I can wear and not wear, and in the future who to date and not date. So growing up is a fear, and I am afraid if I tell my mom, my life is gonna change, because I believe being a muslim kid is so much easier because you dont have much responibilities. I am really shy to talk to my mom and my family in general about my problems and personal stuff such as puberty. My mom and dad have different point of view than me. For ex., if I tell them a boy is bullying me and teasing me, they would just say they are kids so it is natural. Like they dont help me and they put it in me that I am sensitive, which I am not. So, I need help and tips telling my mom that I got my "1st" period. How to bring it up? How to find the right time? What if she was in a bad mood? How to tell her in a way that she wouldnt tell the rest of the family, things like that.

2nd problem is.... I have a crush on a christian boy. Muslim girls are not allowed to date, and to my parents it is not acceptable. But I really like him.I had a subtle crush on him since I saw him, like in 5th grade. But now it really hitting me. I am jealos when I see him with his girlfriend. How can I stop thinking about it?
3rd... I keep breaking down crying at night before i sleep so no one would suspect a thing. I feel that everything is hitting me up all at once. I am experiancing crushes and it is confusing, knowing I cant go on a date with this person, I am afraid to tell my parents about my period, and another problem of mine which go on to read...
4th... The nurse knows and so does the councelor along time ago, and I dont want them to know that I hid such important thing from them. So read "Haunting" becaue it is the same person who wrote than. Can everthing be fine? After this month's period, can I pretend like nothing happened? Tell me something that will ease my mind?


See.... Those are all stresses and I am afraid to start school so yeah,
Thank you very much

[2NDFLOOR]

Okay, so we are glad you reached out to us here, it sounds like you have a lot of stuff going on right now so just take a breath and breathe. First, you are starting to have crushes because you are going through puberty and hormonal changes (especially since your menstruating now). Check out these educational websites so you can understand more about what you are experiencing at www.sexetc.org or www.teenhealthfx.com or www.puberty101.com.
Now, as far as telling your mom, it is okay that you have your period, I understand you do not want to be restricted on what to wear but that is another ball game. Maybe you can write your mom a note and go to lunch with her, while you are at lunch give her the note (about her bad mood-pick a day when she’s not in one)! Try to tell her how you feel about getting your period and that you are nervous. Again, your emotions are going to be elevated anyway because you are going through hormonal changes and that is normal for a girl your age. Maybe you can even print some stats from the educational websites I gave you about girls and their period (if you feel that might help). Do you have anyone you trust? A friend? Family member? Maybe you could even take them along for moral support.
It is also good that you reach out to your guidance counselor during the school year because he/she can help you work through some feelings confidentially. Remember, your mom is your family and sometimes it’s what you imagine in your head about how she may react can be worse then what does happen. Regardless, your mom is going to find out sooner or late and its better you tell her then her find out on accident because it will be harder for her to trust you in the future.

Now onto the crush, you say that he has a girlfriend and your religion doesn't allow you to date, then why don't you try to just be friends with him. I hope this has helped and if you ever need to talk more, call 2NDFLOOR @ 888-222-2228, we are here 24/7

[Unregistered]

I regret it, I wish I did not tell her

As you read what I wrote before, you can tell how anxious and uncomfortable I felt about telling my mom about my period, but the reason I told her is because I knew I had to tell her, because she is gonna know at some point, and I don't wanna keep it for that long. I also hide things from my mom. I dont tell her what is going on in my life. And she knows that. And before that time of the month, she was like, "I wonder what else you are hiding from me...That is why I dont trust you.." That is why I told her, so that I dont feel like I am hiding something from her, because it made me guilty. That was my thought before my period.

I was waiting for my period to tell her. The first day I got, I felt so much pressure. I had no idea what to say and how to tell her in a way as if it is my "first period". Everytime I am alone with her, I feel like this is the time, my heart starts to beat, by mouth gets dry, and I feel queasy and lost. So I waited the second day.

So when she was in my room, I said, "Mom I think I have my period". It was a moment of paralysis. She just looked at me for a second, similing, saying, " My little baby, youre finally a teenager(that was my biggest fear, hearing this), congrats!!" I told her not to tell a single person on earth. She told me I had to tell my dad. I was like" no, what the F?!!!" So yeah, .... for n

And then she was asking me wierd questions such as" are you bleeding alot" "which pad you using" and etc.. She keeps on asking me, should we tell your dad it is a good new....(Yeah for you, what do you care).

The sad thing is I tried explaining that I dont want to be treated like a teenager, but she doesnot think it is right. She says it is a big deal and it basically means I am in a new stage of my life. That broke my heart because I am attracted to like kids stuff and acting like child. Now I feel uncomfortable to look at her, because I know she will ask me, "You need to tell your father. When?" Like dad wont care, he will for a while, but them he will forget, leaving my feel like an idiot. I hate my own body. I know now that I wont be able to wear bikinis because of this. I just wanna die, and I feel depressed. I dont want to be a teenager!!!! She tells me to grow up... she did not understand. You know, if I was smart enough to not tell her, she would not tell me that I am a teen, like what difference does it make!! Yeah, just blood coming out... Can you tell me ways to cope with it, so that I can get out of my room and face my mom?

What else I started doing: At night, while everybody is sleeping, I collapsed right at the floor. Looking in the mirror, then crying. Rocking back and forth. I did that for nearly 2 hours, while listen to sad depressing music, because this is how I feel... No, I can promise you it is not PMS... Having all those overwhelming emotions and crying for three hours, can say that this is my reaction and not PMS. I was scared of the future and did not want to face it. And then I started "scratching" my self in places such as my shoulders, and my upper thighs were no one can see them, because now I know that those are the places I am supposed me hiding and covering. Dont worry, I dont cut till is leaves a scratch. I am a goody goody and I know it is not a proper way of coping with anything. I feel so stupid and I hate my self and how I look. I cant see future. Help me!!

[2NDFLOOR]

Sounds like you are getting very worked up about something that is just a common, natural occurence. It's great that you finally told your mom, even if you don't agree with her reaction, it doesn't mean you should hide it from her or your dad. She probably just wants to let him know because she is happy for you. And getting your period doesn't mean you are now automatically an adult. You can still do all the "kid" things you enjoy doing. Scratching is not any better than cutting. It's an unhealthy way of dealing with feelings. Give your mom a chance to enjoy that her daughter achieved a major milestone in her life. Pretty soon it will just be normal and not such a big deal. Call us anytime at 888-222-2228.