Driving Phobia

[Unregistered]

I have a phobia of driving. I'm 19 and suffer from anxiety, which makes it difficult for me to stay calm when I make a mistake behind the wheel. (Feeling like I've failed has always been one of my triggers) I'm terrified of being in control.When I do drive, my parents mostly say I do pretty well, but I don't feel like they are ever going to give me the keys to drive alone. I'm so tired of my family members making comments about how I don't drive, and am frustrated watching my younger cousins and all of my friends drive before me without issues. I am convinced that one day I will get in a car, make a mistake, hurt myself and more importantly, someone else. This has been going on since I got my learner's permit 3 years ago, (driving has never been a positive experience for me) and I'm really tired of ignoring my problem, but terrified to start driving again even though I want to be able to live a "normal" life driving a car.

But, I do not like to drive with my parents and even just talking about it is an ordeal (it always ends in an argument or a panic attack) and cannot ask them to pay for another instructor. I have a psychologist and she always says that I just need to do it, to get experience behind the wheel. I know she's right, but I am so nervous and don't even know what to do at this point... and It makes me dependent on friends and my parents which I'm starting to hate. I don't know why this is such a problem for me, and it honestly makes me sick to my stomach!! I really want to change it but I don't know how! Please help!

[2NDFLOOR]

I am sorry to hear that you have this fear. I understand that this is especially hard to deal with when it is interrpting your daily life. It honestly doesn't sound like your psychologist is much help if she always just says that "you just need to do it". Obviously if it was that easy for you to just do it you would. This could be something that you may have to see a therapist who specializes in fear, anxiety, and phobias for in order to help you get past this. I am sure you have heard too many times that the only way to get over a fear is to face it- but its not just about directly facing it-there is a process to it. It may take a while, but with baby steps you can eventually get there. Many therapists who specialize in this area would work with you in some sort of process like this....having you sit in the car by yourself while it is parked in the driveway, then the next day backing the car out of the driveway by yourself, maybe the next day driving down 1 street by yourself, and so on. Obviously transitioning to major highways could take months with this process. However, I have heard many people get over extreme fears and phobias this way. Also, I am not sure if you are on medication for your anxiety, but that could be an option to calm your nerves and would definitely help with getting past this fear- along with the therapists help in what I explained before- the term for it is desensitization. If you have any other questions please call us here at the 2NDFLOOR Youth Helpline- 888-222-2228 - We are here 24/7. Best of luck.