I'm So overwhelmed

[Guest]

Hello, this forum is something Im very grateful for because I've always felt like you guys straight up address all my concerns and needs, while I haven't had similar good experiencing contacting suicide/crisis hotlines, so hopefully this will do. There's a lot on my mind, and I honestly feel like I'm suffocating. For one, I'm 19 springing into adulthood, all the while I never felt like my mother raised me and given me all these emotional comfort/nurturing that all humans and children NEED, because she has her own illnesses and its even worse for me because I struggle with sh**load of mental illness and self harm and I always needed someone to support me. Nonetheless, I was extremely lucky that when I was in school (middle, and high) to have found these supportive adults but unfortunatly, as you might connect the dots, time was up for me And it broke my heart to realize that all these different forms of support that people try to tell me to ease my pain will always be very "nomadic" and will end. I want safe space to talk about my issues, someone that will visit me when Im at the hospital for my mental health (that happened before) female issues, and while friends are great, they just don't do it in that sense of what I need. A friend is not like a motherly support. They're more like supportive siblings. I wish its an option to have continued to use these counselors as my support system, but Im also aware... boundaries and it was short term (OR DO YOU THINK OTHERWISE? Do you think if I ask, they can be a support, or just forget it?) Now I'm like, okay fine my mother can't give me what I need, then who will take over these past supports? And while Im college, and I dont want to open a whole different convo, they said theyre understaffed and wont let me see a counselor there, and the dean of students replicate years of misunderstanding that triggers me, and I only have my therapist, which is great, but also keep in mind that we're trying to conver years worth of pain in just 40 min once a week while new things come up. And now I need something to help me hold on in the meantime because I don't feel like Im worthy if I die (thank god suicide is not an option) because everyone only cares because it's an obligation or part of their salary, and my parents while they love me, are toxic and from a different cultural era. Please help me sort out my thoughts. I already have coping skills, but I need more of a cognitive assistance or sayings or words of hope.

[2NDFLOOR]

I am really glad that we have been so helpful to you. Thank you for those kind words. I hope that we can continue to guide you!

First, you are definitely at a difficult age of starting adulthood which also presents it's own problems never mind the ones that you are already dealing with. I understand that over the past few years you feel like you have made it through because of the support of your counselors in high school. You do have to remember that you have earned this strength of yours on your own...and if you were able to do it then (as a child, adolescent, teenager...) you will be able to continue to do it now! I don't think it is a bad idea to keep in touch with these counselors. I am glad you understand boundaries and such but many students leaving high school keep in touch with a lot of the school staff into future years. There is nothing wrong with that! I do feel that it is important that you continue to build your support system as you grow and change. I am sorry to hear your college may not be that place right now for counselors. What about mentors? This could possibly be something that your college offers. I get it that people your age, friends. etc. are not always the best type of support. Maybe even someone who is a senior as a mentor with a little bit of age on you or sometimes colleges have volunteers that have graduated. It's worth looking into! This may seem like an odd idea..but what about volunteering at a nursing home? This offers the idea of building connections with the elderly who are known to be wise in their years and extended conversation, etc. Obviously it is not formal counseling but conversation in itself is therapeutic! Also, what about support groups?? Have you ever tried or looked into this? I see you have a therapist that you meet with once a week which is great...maybe she can help you with referrals. You can always text or call us to help you with research in your living area. I am just trying to think outside the box with some ideas!

It sounds like you have come so far in your life. You ARE worthy. You ARE important. You ARE strong. Be proud. Please call or text us to discuss any of this further. We are here 24/7 at 888-222-2228. Good luck with everything.

[Guest]

First off, I want to thank you TREMENDOUSLY for your kind words, helpful tips and insights. They're all coming at the right time to help me cope through quite intense emotions of loneliness that I have. Since I feel like you "get me" and you provided me with such thorough response, I figured I'd ask on her another follow up regarding your response.

The part where you mentioned that it's okay for high school students to keep in touch with their former teachers, my question is: To what extent?
Does that mean I can email my teacher and talk about something that's upsetting me ( I did once have a negative experience where my counselor told me in a very dismissive way "talk to your therapist" when my goal was just to update her on my progress!) Does that mean it's normal to go out for a cup of coffee? Does that mean that if I get hospitalized, I can call them for support?
How can I be sure?



The less important part I want to mention is: I had so many people, mostly adults who invalidate my need for an adult mentor as someone looking for a friendship or relationship in the wrong place, or it being beyond my cohorts. And it deeply keeps my such a confusion as to how some people like yourself can understand me so well, and others really be dismissive of this, or see it in a different light.

I feel like I want to talk about this more, but it's such a grey area and everyone has something different to say about this, but your approach helped me best and I'm hoping I can find more people like you.

Once again, thank you

[2NDFLOOR]

Typically post high school relationships with teachers are more light hearted to touch base and see how the teacher themselves are doing at a professional level, the relationship doesn't usually go much further than that. So you wouldn't want to deem them as supports because that is something they would be unable to provide. However if you needed something professional from them such as a letter of recommendation or some kind of professional guidance that would be more what they could provide you with. This could be done through an email or phone call. Outside of that would be outside of the realm of what they could help you with.

As for the need of an adult mentor it seems like what you are looking for is someone a little more personal to you which as you said is hard to find as a professional. You may want to try to navigate your social supports for someone that could provide such supports, sometimes friends parents are good for this or neighbors. However they are not the easiest of supports to find and are not what we could consider instant supports. Maybe try joining some groups where older people may be such as book clubs and see if you can find anyone you connect with.

If you would like to talk about this or anything else further please call or text us any time 24/7 at 1(888)222-2228.