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I am a disappointment. I am weak, a coward, and stupid. I don't know what is wrong with me.
I am views in my family as the quiet, stupid one. My sister is in high school, is beautiful, smart, and popular. She has met the love of her life and they are crazy in love.
My little sister is the angel in the family, and no matter how rude she is she always seems to get away with it.
My mom and dad only care about them, and treat me like garbage compared to them.
I have a habit of taking my sister's clothes. We are the same size, and I always get hand-me downs. Her clothes are epensive, comfortable, beautiful, and for me- free. I take them all the time, I don't know how to stop. She has screamed at me over dozens of times and I don't know what to say, because I am so embarrassed of myself. She has a perfect life, and was depressed in 8th grade, just like I am. But she doesn't seem to get how miserable I feel. She has everything I could ever want- but sees the deepest and darkest parts of me. And I hate her for it.
My dad. All he cares about is order, neatness, responsibility. Which all three qualities, I appear to lack. I am a mess, sharing a room with my 7 year old sister, stains all over the carpet, and a little girl who will never just shut up. When I'm not cleaning up or doing something that will make him happy, he gives me a look like I was the most horrible thing that could ever happen to him. When I am cleaning, he pretends I don't exist, and then pretends it never happened. If you breathe a certain way around him, he will get mad. He has hit me and hurt me before. Just yesterday, he was fighting with me. He was about to make me bleed. In self defense, I bit his arm. That's when chaos started. He threatened to "kick my ass", "Kill me", and that "I was going to regret that." He scares the living hell out of me. and nobody else sees it.
My mother, is your typical, loving mom. A little older then most, she always has a hard time about out generation and its weird quirks. She is one of the few people that I know deep down, that they truly love me. But, like all parents, we have our bad days. She is extremely strict, and gets hurt very easily. I'm always nervous for my mother to come home, I'm worried that she will just break down and I won't be able to help her.
My little sister. She is the devil in a 7 year old's body. She watches a bunch of teenage shows, and uses the words, actions, and excuses that the 20 year old do on television. She says some pretty horrible things to me. But, no one sides with me, because she is an angel, and well, I'm me.
I have been really depressed over the last 2 years. I don't take my medicine, it makes it worse. I have a couple of friends. I'm not hated in school. Everyone is very nice to me, and I don't think anyone has a grudge against me. Every once in a while, Ill get some criticism.
I have a couple of friends who are extremely wierd. They obsess over this stupid little band, and act like two year olds. They will sing in the most horrible voices i have ever heard. People give them these horrible looks, and say sh#t behind thier backs. They are too reckless and stupid to care. They embarass me and humiliate me. I tell them to stop, but they really dont give a sh#t about anything I say. I can tell them my father beat me, and theyll say. "Oh. OH MY GOD GUESS WHAT 5 SECONDS OF SUMMER IS PERFORMING IN NYC" and rant on. I have no one I can talk to. I have multiple therapists, but they dont make me feel any better.
My grades have been falling down. My depression has been taking its toll for the worst, and its affecting my grades. My parents are extremely strict on grades, and dont understand why I dont get the matierial, its just really hard for me. Going for extra help is embarrassing, because kids with special needs only go, and they force me too.
I have liked the same boy for the past 2 1/2 years. Honestly, he is the ugliest, wierdest, stupidest, rudest, more immuture boy I have ever met. But for some reason, whenever I see him, my legs turn to jello, an my heart starts beating like crazy. Whenever I'm around him, I want to disapeer. I avoid him, people have told him that I liked him. It scares me to see him in the same room as me, Ill have an anxiety attack and have to leave. I dont know how to get over him, and I want him out of my life. So why can't I stop thinking about him?
My mom says I am one of the most beautiful girls in the world.
Well, of course she did. She's your mother.
I have recieved many compliements about my body, how beautiful I am, how my figure is amazing, how I look so healthy and fit while having curves. But when I look in the mirror,I see fat. All I see is fat, pimples, freckles, and poop brown eyes. Chewed up fingernails, and pale skin. Pointy nose, bright red chapped lips that always hang low. big boobs, and "athletic" legs.
It hurts to smile. It physically hurts to smile.
Its scary as hell to go to sleep, knowing that I will have to wake up and face a new day, listening to my family and friends twll me just how irresponsible and stupid I am.
Like I never heard that before.
I just feel so alone. I don't have anyone I can turn to. No real friends to confide in.
I'm sorry this is a lot. whoever took the time out of their day to read this, you actually have no idea how much I appreciate it.
As I write, my sister just went into her room, and saw my shirt lying on her bed, knowing that I put it there. My dad just took away my phone (as usual.) I think every other day I get it back, and every other day I lose it again to being bad.
My moms in canada. This week is going to be a living hell.
I need someone to talk to. I am so scared, so alone. I alwasy feel like everyone hates me. I want to die.
Please, tell me what I should do.
I am views in my family as the quiet, stupid one. My sister is in high school, is beautiful, smart, and popular. She has met the love of her life and they are crazy in love.
My little sister is the angel in the family, and no matter how rude she is she always seems to get away with it.
My mom and dad only care about them, and treat me like garbage compared to them.
I have a habit of taking my sister's clothes. We are the same size, and I always get hand-me downs. Her clothes are epensive, comfortable, beautiful, and for me- free. I take them all the time, I don't know how to stop. She has screamed at me over dozens of times and I don't know what to say, because I am so embarrassed of myself. She has a perfect life, and was depressed in 8th grade, just like I am. But she doesn't seem to get how miserable I feel. She has everything I could ever want- but sees the deepest and darkest parts of me. And I hate her for it.
My dad. All he cares about is order, neatness, responsibility. Which all three qualities, I appear to lack. I am a mess, sharing a room with my 7 year old sister, stains all over the carpet, and a little girl who will never just shut up. When I'm not cleaning up or doing something that will make him happy, he gives me a look like I was the most horrible thing that could ever happen to him. When I am cleaning, he pretends I don't exist, and then pretends it never happened. If you breathe a certain way around him, he will get mad. He has hit me and hurt me before. Just yesterday, he was fighting with me. He was about to make me bleed. In self defense, I bit his arm. That's when chaos started. He threatened to "kick my ass", "Kill me", and that "I was going to regret that." He scares the living hell out of me. and nobody else sees it.
My mother, is your typical, loving mom. A little older then most, she always has a hard time about out generation and its weird quirks. She is one of the few people that I know deep down, that they truly love me. But, like all parents, we have our bad days. She is extremely strict, and gets hurt very easily. I'm always nervous for my mother to come home, I'm worried that she will just break down and I won't be able to help her.
My little sister. She is the devil in a 7 year old's body. She watches a bunch of teenage shows, and uses the words, actions, and excuses that the 20 year old do on television. She says some pretty horrible things to me. But, no one sides with me, because she is an angel, and well, I'm me.
I have been really depressed over the last 2 years. I don't take my medicine, it makes it worse. I have a couple of friends. I'm not hated in school. Everyone is very nice to me, and I don't think anyone has a grudge against me. Every once in a while, Ill get some criticism.
I have a couple of friends who are extremely wierd. They obsess over this stupid little band, and act like two year olds. They will sing in the most horrible voices i have ever heard. People give them these horrible looks, and say sh#t behind thier backs. They are too reckless and stupid to care. They embarass me and humiliate me. I tell them to stop, but they really dont give a sh#t about anything I say. I can tell them my father beat me, and theyll say. "Oh. OH MY GOD GUESS WHAT 5 SECONDS OF SUMMER IS PERFORMING IN NYC" and rant on. I have no one I can talk to. I have multiple therapists, but they dont make me feel any better.
My grades have been falling down. My depression has been taking its toll for the worst, and its affecting my grades. My parents are extremely strict on grades, and dont understand why I dont get the matierial, its just really hard for me. Going for extra help is embarrassing, because kids with special needs only go, and they force me too.
I have liked the same boy for the past 2 1/2 years. Honestly, he is the ugliest, wierdest, stupidest, rudest, more immuture boy I have ever met. But for some reason, whenever I see him, my legs turn to jello, an my heart starts beating like crazy. Whenever I'm around him, I want to disapeer. I avoid him, people have told him that I liked him. It scares me to see him in the same room as me, Ill have an anxiety attack and have to leave. I dont know how to get over him, and I want him out of my life. So why can't I stop thinking about him?
My mom says I am one of the most beautiful girls in the world.
Well, of course she did. She's your mother.
I have recieved many compliements about my body, how beautiful I am, how my figure is amazing, how I look so healthy and fit while having curves. But when I look in the mirror,I see fat. All I see is fat, pimples, freckles, and poop brown eyes. Chewed up fingernails, and pale skin. Pointy nose, bright red chapped lips that always hang low. big boobs, and "athletic" legs.
It hurts to smile. It physically hurts to smile.
Its scary as hell to go to sleep, knowing that I will have to wake up and face a new day, listening to my family and friends twll me just how irresponsible and stupid I am.
Like I never heard that before.
I just feel so alone. I don't have anyone I can turn to. No real friends to confide in.
I'm sorry this is a lot. whoever took the time out of their day to read this, you actually have no idea how much I appreciate it.
As I write, my sister just went into her room, and saw my shirt lying on her bed, knowing that I put it there. My dad just took away my phone (as usual.) I think every other day I get it back, and every other day I lose it again to being bad.
My moms in canada. This week is going to be a living hell.
I need someone to talk to. I am so scared, so alone. I alwasy feel like everyone hates me. I want to die.
Please, tell me what I should do.
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