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I hope I didn't come across wierd or anything

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  • I hope I didn't come across wierd or anything

    Hello. There is something that is stressing me and making me feel really odd and like I've made a fool to myself. I have had such a strong bond with one of my teachers senior year of highschool (Im now a rising soph at college) and ever since Ive left school, I've been trying to stay in contact. Visiting school was hard because campus is far a way, I also wasn't invited to for alumni gathering which was really a chance to connect with him and it broke my heart. Point is I was missing this teacher terribly and sadly, school shut down and I didn't get the chance to visit at all! And it made me more desparate to reconnect. So couple months ago, I needed a reference for somethhing like to volunteer. So I emailed them and my reasoning was that I needed 5 and that its a lot and I need some more recommenders because he knows my work ethics really well. Now Im rolling my eyes, 5?!! DId that come across as obvious that I made that number up. Another thing is, I was surprised to see that shortly after, my sister added them on fb (they also had them as a teacher)! Even more shocking is that they accepted the request. I was on fb checking mutual friends, and stuff and came across my schools club pages and stuff. I clicked on one of them and he was the admin for the page. And you know how there is this thing where it shows who's seen the post? I was afraid I showed up on the list and that they thinks I'm stalking! I dont know if Im coming across a wierd obsessed person because I vallue boundaries so much to keep things safe and not wierd. Please don't give me any advices that tell me to "move on Ill meet more people blah blah". It's not helpful nor is it the case. I still think remaining in connection with someone like them is important because they indicated to keep in touch so just a side note. I do have OCD which is why you can see why I am overthinking this.

  • #2
    I’m sorry to hear you’ve been stressing so much about this! It sounds like your previous teacher enjoys staying connected with students on social media. If he’s advising students to “keep in touch”, it’s perfectly reasonable that some of these students would view his social media profile(s) and request to be added. It’s also completely normal for students to ask teachers for letters of recommendation. If the amount of recommendations was an issue, you would most likely hear from your teacher about it. From what you’re describing, your communication with him has been totally appropriate. It’s great that you value boundaries, as your teacher has an ethical duty to uphold professional relationships with his students. You sound very aware of this and your consideration will definitely help you in maintaining a safe, appropriate relationship. Feel free to reach out to us whenever you need 24/7 via call or text at 888-222-2228. Thank you for contacting 2NDFLOOR Youth Helpline!


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