Alone

[Unregistered]

So there's this guy. I thought he really liked me....I mean he would treat me so good. I felt so happy around him. He seemed to be the only one who actually understood me....anyway I had these really close friends and he would get jealous that id hang out with them so to make him happy I pushed them away I stopped talking to them. There was this one night he saw me with another close friend of mine he way a guy and he sorta hit me...but I guess I deserved it. I cried that entire night, I had no one to turn to. I changed completely because of him. I began drinking and smoking because it made him happy. And it sucks because I always put him before myself, I care about his feelings more than I care about my own. And now we're falling apart and I can't help but to be sad....because I have no one, I lost everyone because of him. I'm all alone. But maybe I deserve all of this...because I'm such a bad person. I've been 8 months clean of cutting and I feel like tonight I'm going to mess it all up. I need someone, I have no one.

[2NDFLOOR]

Relationships are supposed to make us better people. Like when two people come together, they are each a better person for being in that relationship with the other person. Our significant others should push us to be better, encourage us to do things we love and support us in our goals and dreams. This doesn't sound like that is happening in your relationship...in fact, it almost sounds opposite. No one "deserves" to be hit...ever, for any reason, in a relationship. That is inappropriate behavior that you should not have to put up with. It's also a bit disturbing that you drinking and smoking, two known dangerous and unhealthy behaviors, makes him happy. No one can tell you what to do with your life, but you may want to strongly consider what you are getting out of this relationship. No one deserves to be unhappy, but you need to take steps in your life to obtain happiness. You may even consider looking up domestic violence agencies in your area. Finally, cutting solves nothing. It offers a temporary relief to a problem, however, after 30 seconds, that relief is gone, the problem is still there and now you've cut yourself. Check out the website www.selfinjury.com for support and ideas to stop or give us a call and we'll help you work through it at 888-222-2228.

[Unregistered]

Your not alone :]

Your not alone. I used to have a friend in a very similar situation. She used to have lots of friends, but then she met a guy and well basically feel in love. Now he mentally and physically beats on her and she hardly goes to school, is not aloud to hang out with friends and she is not allowed to wear make up all under the boyfriends rule. Finally we convinced her to break away but it's gravitational because of her love for him. It's important to know everyone has a bad side, past or even thoughts and that you should not be punished for it, it's human nature. I have drank, smoked, lied, cheated, and been very slutty and I've been ashamed but it's something in the past. You should DEFINITELY not be punished for hanging out without a guy friend. He can not control you like that. His love has become toxic it's like carbon monoxide, everything is fine until you pass out and thats the first sign of death. If you let him get away with mistreating you could fall in a hole too deep to dig out of. Friends are all around you, you can either tell you friends your situation and that you sorry for putting a guy first but you need help. If they don't help they should have never been and should never be your friends. If this occurs talk to a person you know in school even just a kid that sits next you and try to creat a bond. For me it's easiest to mend with the broken. I'm broken in my ways and all my friends have problems but together we are invincible because we know we all need support. If neither of these work talk to your parents or siblings because maybe they had a similar occurrence or a friend of theirs did and they can give you advice. And now to help the actual situation lol he should not be that jealous and demanding so he might have a mental condition. If you think he might you should look up symptoms. And if he does try to get him help cause you love him but as secretively as possible because he might get offended. But the bottom line is I'm not next to you so I can't convince you to over and over to break apart or to defy him cause I don't know all the details. So my best advice is to try to get friends or creat friends that can help talk to you or to talk to family it's harder but they are the ones that are willing to tell you the truth even a distant aunt you'd be surprised. But for now just stay safe until you know exactly how he would react to you confronting him because I dint want you to get hurt, you don't deserve it lol if you wanna talk more here's my email ([email protected]) don't judge the name lol. Good luck :]