I want to help my friend.

[Grey]

Hello

I'm a high school student in New Jersey, and I know a girl who has been going through hell.

Her household is incredibly toxic. Her mother calls her worthless and a freak and worse almost daily. This girl has been told by her mother to kill herself on multiple occasions and has been locked out of the house in the freezing cold several times. Her mother takes medicines for mental illness and her father is neglectful with apparent drinking problems. In general, they act very emotionally abusive toward her. Her two siblings also do not help, not supportive in the least and treating her with scorn. I know for a fact that she has considered committing suicide and I have feared for her life more times than a few. Recently, the girl injured her ankle to the point where she could not walk and her parents refused to get her medical help. She does have a counselor and takes anti-depression meds but this does not stop the way her family treats her and she continues to spiral downward into hopelessness.

I want to help her but I don't know how.
Can I get soon or immediate aid for something like the above?
If I call and report this, will there be 100% chance of an investigation? If so, how will the investigation work? I do not want to cause her more trouble by inciting the rage of her family.
She has an aunt that she could potentially live with, but how will this effect her financial and legal situation? ie. Will she still be able to go to college?
If she has to go into foster care, again, how would that effect her financial and legal situation?
In the meantime, is there anything else that I or her other friends can do to help?

I don't want my friend to suffer anymore.

Thank you

[2NDFLOOR]

How great that you want to help your friend out in this difficult time she is going through. Some of the questions you have asked above are not able to be answered by anyone because all situations are different and have different results. Here are some options to try. Do you both go to the same school? If so maybe you can report to a guidance counselor what you know and see what he/she thinks you should do. If that doesn't work, you can report her case to DCP&P at (877) NJ-ABUSE. They will likely take some info about her and you don't have to provide them with any info about yourself. You can also try to convince her to call us and if she reports abuse we can call DCP&P with her. Our number is (888) 222-2228. Now as to what would happen if they are called, the answer varies. They will likely come out and perform an evaluation. Based on the results of this evaluation, many things can happen, but it is not the only goal of DCP&P to take someone and put them in foster care. Their goal is to make sure the person is in a safe environment. As far as what you can do at this point...be the support system that she does not have at home. Let her know that you care about her, but that you will also do whatever it takes to make sure she is safe. If she ever tells you she is planning on hurting herself, don't hold that information back. Report it to someone or call the NJ Hopeline at (855) 654-6735. Again, great job being a supportive and caring friend.

[Guest]

[Guest]

How admirable that you wish to support your friend during this trying time. Because every circumstance is unique and produces a unique outcome, some of the questions you have raised above cannot be answered. Here are some potential choices. Do you attend the same school together? If so, you might tell a guidance counselor what you know and ask what they recommend. basket random