anxiety & my parents

[Guest]

i was diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder after i was abused and raped by my ex-boyfriend. so after my mom had found out, like a normal mother she had a lot of trust issues with me being in relationships, but i went ahead and i fell in love with a boy who treats me in wonderful ways that can't even be put into words. she found out about him and blacked out on me, but i don't want to lose him and so i have to keep going behind her back because he is too much to lose. then today everything went bad, she found our messages and she got mad causing my anxiety to rile up and i'm having anxiety attacks in school. now with all this stress, i'm starting to have suicidal thoughts again after i had attempted twice. i'm an ex cutter as well, so my longing to just cut and let this all out on myself is at 100 right now. i went to my schools office for those who want to commit suicide and/or are having suicidal thoughts because of issues with depression but i don't think that i can hold on until the morning.

[2NDFLOOR]

I'm sorry to hear what you have been through. I hope you immediately reached out for help about your suicidal and self-harming thoughts. Counselors here at the 2NDFLOOR Youth Helpline are available 24/7 by phone call and/or text in order to more promptly get you the help you need. Our number is 888-222-2228. Hopefully at this point you have either talked to your mom or went to your school office.
Your mom is obviously really worried and trying to protect you but you have to move on from your past at some point and rise above it. Have you both ever been in therapy together? It sounds like you need someone in the middle to balance you both out and most importantly try and get your mom to see that now being in a healthy relationship can potentially really help you.

Here are some resources to also check out: www.self-injury.net www.selfmutilatorsanonymous.org www.selfharm.net http://butterfly-project.tumblr.com/

www.hopeline.com http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org

Your school can also help with referrals in your area. Stay strong.