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So this is a long story. Please someone answer I just can't take it anymore.
For a while now, my life has been spiraling downhill. I have lost a ton of friends. So much drama happens in my friend-circle anymore. My mom wants to date this weird guy who isn't nice and he's much older than her. I don't like him at all. My older brother is having some issues with pot and drinking and my Mom got him help. But he still worries me because he acts weird when he is drunk, and then when you can literally smell the pot coming from his room, he denies it. My mom threatened everything- boarding school, the army, for him to move out. But nothing is ever done. And to make this all worse, my grades are dropping and I'm always tired and upset and I can't concentrate. Like I fall asleep in class and my classmate pokes me to wake me up when I really start falling into a deep sleep. And like I hate school now. I have 1 friend. I like him but he is dating some girl who barely likes him. And like all of my "friends" (they aren't my friends anymore) have something against me being friends with him. To add, I use to self harm and my suicide date is this Sunday. I went through therapy and stuff and now I'm not gonna do it but I've just been in so much pain thinking about it. He (my 1 friend) is gonna come over on that day to hang out with me and sorta distract me but he knows and understands why he is really there. I don't know I just feel so worthless. I told my mom all of this and she said she would call the doctor (some doctor who works with adolescents who are depressed) but she never actually did. And I remind her almost every day but nothing is ever done.
I have tried to resolve these issues. I try speaking with the drama queens at school. They don't listen. I try to improve my grades. Nothing helps. I try to distract myself. But nothing works. I just feel so depressed, so done with everything. What can I do? Please don't say "speak to your guidance counselor" because I literally hate her. She does nothing to help me, ever. She just sits there and nods and says "I understand" in a stupid high-pitched tone. And she knows I dislike her very much. I have already spoken to these people, my mom, my family, my close family-friends, counselors, etc. But nothing helps me.
For a while now, my life has been spiraling downhill. I have lost a ton of friends. So much drama happens in my friend-circle anymore. My mom wants to date this weird guy who isn't nice and he's much older than her. I don't like him at all. My older brother is having some issues with pot and drinking and my Mom got him help. But he still worries me because he acts weird when he is drunk, and then when you can literally smell the pot coming from his room, he denies it. My mom threatened everything- boarding school, the army, for him to move out. But nothing is ever done. And to make this all worse, my grades are dropping and I'm always tired and upset and I can't concentrate. Like I fall asleep in class and my classmate pokes me to wake me up when I really start falling into a deep sleep. And like I hate school now. I have 1 friend. I like him but he is dating some girl who barely likes him. And like all of my "friends" (they aren't my friends anymore) have something against me being friends with him. To add, I use to self harm and my suicide date is this Sunday. I went through therapy and stuff and now I'm not gonna do it but I've just been in so much pain thinking about it. He (my 1 friend) is gonna come over on that day to hang out with me and sorta distract me but he knows and understands why he is really there. I don't know I just feel so worthless. I told my mom all of this and she said she would call the doctor (some doctor who works with adolescents who are depressed) but she never actually did. And I remind her almost every day but nothing is ever done.
I have tried to resolve these issues. I try speaking with the drama queens at school. They don't listen. I try to improve my grades. Nothing helps. I try to distract myself. But nothing works. I just feel so depressed, so done with everything. What can I do? Please don't say "speak to your guidance counselor" because I literally hate her. She does nothing to help me, ever. She just sits there and nods and says "I understand" in a stupid high-pitched tone. And she knows I dislike her very much. I have already spoken to these people, my mom, my family, my close family-friends, counselors, etc. But nothing helps me.
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