Help.

[Unregistered]

I just don't know who I am anymore. My girlfriend harshly ended things and started dating another guy within the same week it happened. Now I can't talk to her anymore she blocked my number and she did that to me like she didn't even care. That started the whole depression. But before that, I started smoking weed alot, almost every day. And now I'm smoking cigarettes alot. I just want to smoke and drink and not think about it but that's not the answer. I'm scared for myself at times. I cut myself and sometimes I just think about hurting myself to turn the mental pain into physical pain. My emotions are all over the place. I just think about who would care if I wasn't around. I'm pathetic and an embarrassment. I lost my best friend. I'm transferring schools but I just have no motivation to do anything. I used to be driven, independent, and confident. Looking at how low I've sunk these past couple of months scares me. It's just hard to think positively. At times, I'm fine then the next second, I'm upset. It's a rollercoaster and I feel like my mind is destroying me. I changed and people have seen that. I miss the old me. I want to bounce back from this and come out on top but I feel like I'm never going to get better and heal. My parents don't understand how I feel. They think I don't need help and I'll get over it. But, I feel helpless and no one understands. I put too much faith in people and I constantly get hurt by people who I think care about me. It must be me because it's happened to me alot of times. I need help. I just want to come out of this and turn my life around.

[2NDFLOOR]

It sounds like you are going through a very intense time right now. Dealing with a breakup, watching your ex date someone else, losing your best friend, and having your faith in people damaged is alot of things to handle all at once. It is very understandable for you to be upset and have alot of feelings, and to feel the need to turn to drinking, smoking, and cutting to relieve the pain. But you are not alone in your feelings. There are many others that find it hard sometimes to figure out or talk about their feelings, and can have their feelings or unfortunate events overwhelm them. But there are some other more positive ways to get out your feelings if you can't find anyone to talk to. You may want to try writing, drawing, listening to music, taking walks, or even using stress balls or pillows to squeeze and relief your anger or stress.

Also, though it may seem like there is no one there to listen, there are resources available. If you feel like your parents and friends may not understand, you may want to try to reach out to a guidance counselor at school or a therapist in your area. They can provide you a safe and confidential place to talk about your feelings, instead of deciding to smoke, drink, or cut yourself to get rid of the pain. It shows alot of strength and courage that you reached out to us to tell your feelings. It sounds like you really do have motivation to get back to feeling happy again, and being able to talk about your feelings can be a big help. If you want to talk more about this or anything else feel free to call 2NDFLOOR at 1-888-222-2228, we are available 24/7!