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So I'm currently a freshmen living in college, and boy let me tell you college is so different from anything else. You have your freedom to pretty much do anything you want. While in college I made a good friend named Ana and she's pretty nice. Sometimes she can be really annoying though. The other day she told me that she liked our good friend Brian and I was happy to hear that because I knew that he was interested in her as well. The other day Brian and I decided to have a couple of drinks in his dorm room with a couple of other people. This ended up being a small group of people drinking and having a good time to a full on party. I had to many to drink and was losing my balance so I sat on his bed and blacked out because the next thing I knew I woke up next to Brian. I felt so bad that I had just hooked up with this guy that I relapsed and cut myself again. I've been doing pretty well because the last time I cut myself was sometime late September. I've been crying non stop and have the urge to cut myself again but haven't. I just don't know what to do with myself, and I feel so bad about what I did. My councler here at school knows the whole story expect for the cutting part because I'm afraid she might send me to a hospital. I've already been to hospital, and trust me that was not a pleasant experience. I don't know if I should ask for medication to help with my depression or what. I'm just so lost, and confused, and want the urge of cutting to go away.
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I am sorry to hear you relapsed. Sometimes mistakes happen and it is important to not relive that event over and over again or punish yourself for it. You talked about nonstop cutting and that is serious, if you cannot stop you need to go to the hospital or confide in your counselor so she/he can assist you immediately. You do not want to keep your cutting a secret because secrets are what make it harder to correct harmful behavior. It is also important to tell someone so you have support in your life when you feel the urge to cut. Try to journal your feelings and find out what are you afraid will happen if you don’t cut. Speak to your counselor at school about these feelings and she should be able to refer you to a psychiatrist to get medication for depression if that’s what she feels you need. Here is the number to NJ Mental Health Cares (866) 202- 4357. You can call and they can direct you to mental health professionals as well.
Deciding to stop self-injury is a very personal decision. Remember, don't be discouraged that you relapsed at this time; you can still choosing to stop right now. Take steps to recognize and change your behavior. Here are some resources online to check out, such as www.selfinjury.com or www.selfmutilatorsanonymous.org, please call 2NDFLOOR anytime at 888-222-2228 for more help! We are here 24/7. -
Relapse on cutting
Do you think there might any possibility of her not sending me to a psychiatric unit if I tell her about my cutting?Comment
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It is not necessarily what will happen, but your guidance counselor is legally obligated to report behavior that she feels is harmful for you, but remember it is a step in the right direction. You’re not alone, there are people that can help.Comment
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