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I'm a twin and as expected my dad prefers my sister over me. everyone tells me "no, parents love every child the same," but its not like that with my dad. he literally told me that to my face, and said that my sis is the one who will be more successful in life.. she is the smarter one and that's all he cares about, grades and school. i noticed that the more he stresses me with school the less i care and the worse grades i get, its just a cycle. i want to be a police officer when i grow up and my dad says he wont pay for my collage if i chose to do that, just wow i can see how much he cares about my happiness, he only cares about the money... i have a boyfriend who lives far away and he is my happiness, my dad doesn't know about him which is why im keeping this secret from him, if he finds out i will give up, cause my bf is my only hope. my dad always takes my phone away whenever something doesn't go his way. he hits me when we study together and i get something wrong, no matter how many times i tell him that i want everyone to have joy and happiness or how much i tell him we should all be positive, he still acts the same, nothing ever changes. and yes i have talked to him on how i feels, and he says he understands only for that moment, then the day after he would just go back in being all rude and mean. he works from home and im always scared to come home from school cause i never know what to expect... i always feel so depressed cause my dad always brings my mood down no matter what i do...
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I am glad you reached out to 2ndfloor for help. I am sorry you are going through this with your dad. It seems like your dad does care more about academics, which is unfair because not everyone is the same. I understand you get frustrated when your dad stresses you out but just remember that how you do in school affects your future. If you want to go to college you need to make sure you do well in school. It is unfortunate that your dad does not care about your happiness but you can't change your dad, you can only change the way you react to him. So think about your reactions to him when he does something that upsets you and try to change it.
It is a shame that dad does not approve of the career you would like to have but maybe look up some Law Enforcement jobs and salaries and share that with him. Police officers could make a lot of money depending on where they work.
Do you live with only your dad and sister? Is there another adult you can talk to? It is important to have someone to talk to about this. Maybe reach out to a counselor, teacher or coach at school.
If you are afraid of your dad because he hits you, you need to reach out for help. You should not be afraid in your own home. If you live in NJ, contact DCP&P, It is the Dept. of Child Protection and Permanency. Their number is 877-652-2873. If you feel you do not want to make this call alone, you can call 2ndfloor for assistance or if you feel comfortable speak to your school counselor.
Please do not hesitate to call or text 2ndfloor, we are here 24/7 @ 888-222-2228.
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