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I've been feeling depressed for about 11 months and suicidal for about 7 months and I now realize that I need help. Last year I went to my friend about it but then he ended up telling our school counselor. I'm not good at explaining how I feel and I don't like to talk much, so the counselor didn't work out the way I hoped it would. I know I need help from a professional but I can't tell my mom how I feel or what I've been going through. I'm now in high school and I was thinking about taking to my counselor but then I realized if I told them I wanted to harm myself then they would have to tell my mom and then things would get crazy. I feel like I'm alone and I don't know what to do anymore.
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First I just want to mention that if you are having thoughts of suicide or in immediate danger please contact 911 or the suicide prevention lifeline immediately 1-800-273-8255. Their website also has a lot of great resources for you while you are looking for professional help and even after you obtain it http://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/help-yourself/ I know it can be hard explaining how you are feeling, but it seems you were able to do so via our message board. It could be that writing down your feelings is easier then saying them out loud. I know that you don't want your mom to know or feel that you can't tell her, but in these situations you need a support group. The more she knows the more she can help you. It can be scary at first and overwhelming, but there are people that care about you and want to help you to get through this. If you don't feel comfortable talking to your mom directly, then speak the the counselor at the high school first, explain how you are feeling, and what the next steps might be. You don't have to continue to feel this way and this was your first step in getting the help that you need. Step 1 reach out to an adult (counselor, mom, etc) and tell them what's going on. Then they can find you professional help (a counselor that best fits you). If you want to talk more call/text 2NDFLOOR Youth Helpline 24/7 at 888-222-2228.
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