No words for my stress

[Unregistered]

I am freaking out right now because of school is starting after tomorow and here's are the following reasonS:
1) I always want to do more than I am able to, but I cant always reach up to my own expectation which then leads to fear of failure, and then depression. For example, I want to pay to be in ap classes as in college credits, but I cant because I am not sure I will meet every single prerequisite test expectation just one shot, yet I feel like I am running out of time
2) I am a creative kid with music and theatre passion, and the competition in highschool is unbelievably competitive, and I feel the need to be better than everyone and really stand out and really advance and gain recognition, but I have no idea how to do so. SOmetimes I feel like I am really advanced than most kids, it just doesnt show because i am shy and quiet and I dont know how to come out of my shell and say "thats what I can do". So its like not fair, but in a way it is
3) I get nervous tics and I cant stop it. I am nervous of being nervious and shaking like an idiot. I do think I need to be on medication, but to the time I actually visit and therapist and see what tthey think, I would already have started school and already suffering from it and I will start off with bad impression
4) I want to be recongnized or I dream of being called down to the office for a r3ecognition for an accomplishment
5) I am really sad because last year I loved school because I know the teacher that was literally the reason I was living was there, and now she's gone.... NO one can fill her shoes, its a fact

[2NDFLOOR]

High school may be overwhelming as you get to be an upperclassmen. You also sound like you are putting a lot of demands on yourself. First of all it would be more important to learn time management skills and get organize. These will be skills that you can use throughout the remainder of high school and throughout college. Taking AP courses may seem appealing but they are not required to get into college or university. So maybe prioritize yourself and work on the classes that you do have and put extra time into them so you can get a good GPA. In regards to the arts, it is really important to be involved in extracurricular activities because they are fun and keep you involved in school. I agree that all of these pressures may be causing you anxiety and may be worth while speaking to your parents. They may be able to get you to see a therapist so that you can learn some coping strategies and help you cope better with school (and life stressors). Sometimes we can't do it all and we need to put some things that are important to us higher on the list! The good thing is that once you get through this overwhelming period it may feel a little easier or feel like you may have more time. I am sorry that you miss your teacher but see if you can reach out to your counselor or another teacher at school. It is really important that you have support at school. You are not alone... so if you want to talk to a live counselor you can call 2NDFLOOR Youth Helpline 24/7 or text us daily 4-8PM at 888-222-2228.