I am drowning

[Unregistered]

Hi! I am really better at listing what bothers me, so here we go:
- There is this thing were I obsess over details and events that I feel if I forget, I will lose an idea that may lead me to success (It honestly made me to break a jar cuz thats how frustrating it is)
- I know suicide is not an option and i wouldnt even dare, just putting that out there. I watched a show were a person was going to commit suicide and at that moment he realized how much he was loved and it sorta made me wanna cry because it makes me want to die (not in a suicidal way) because then ppl will see my worth when its gone missing .... UGH that was hard to word, I hope you understood that bullet
- My life is so pointless
- I hate myself, my life and everone and everything. I cant love myself, I tried, but I cant. I feel the need to get everyone's approval so I could feel loved.

[2NDFLOOR]

I'm glad you're reaching out for support, since it sounds like you've been having a lot of difficult thoughts and emotions. It seems like you've been feeling a lack of support from others, as well as a lack of value in yourself. That sounds like it could be really isolating. Does anyone else know about the thoughts and feelings you've been having? Sharing your experience with an adult you trust, such as a family member, teacher, or coach, can open up some more support avenues for you. Are you currently getting any support through counseling or therapy? If so, it's important for whoever is helping you to know about what you've been experiencing. Since school will starting up again soon, your school counselor would be a helpful resource to reach out to. It might seem like stretch, but getting involved in extracurricular activities/clubs can help you to feel more connected with others and build your self-esteem. Even finding a new, creative hobby can keep you engaged and feeling confident about what you can accomplish, as opposed to just looking for approval in others. I hope this can be a start to you feeling better! Thank you for reaching out to 2NDFLOOR Youth Helpline! We are available 24/7 at 888-222-2228. We also have texting available from 12pm-8pm. Please don't hesitate to reach out!