I feel very stuck...

[Unregistered]

HI awesome people,

I really want to use an outlet like this site to help me sort things out and hear a response and feedback. This is long and filled with different weird emotions, so try to really read between the lines.
------- I have been always a stereotypical shy kid that is judged. I know I am not, but that is what I come off as most times. So it is really easy for me to be judged and underestimated... as if I am unknowledgable... esspecially when it comes to theatrical arts and really putting yourself out there and basically promoting yourself, like hello, you actually want to convince judges and directors that you belong in a place like that, and how do you do that, by "coming off" a certain way. i am doing a play currently, and I got like the most minor part. Heck, the directors hesitated to give out a part because they werent sure if anyone of the minor people can handle it when I am standing in front of them. In my opinion, I am advanced singer. I got in one of the most competitve choir and won singing award. Like really, I sound like the people that get really high status parts... and sometimes I wonder why they heck to these people get the parts that I simply could since I'm equaly talented? WHy do I not appear "able"? Trust me , i sit there conteemplating how I could maybe get out more and out of my shell, but I don't know how and what to do. I feel this threatened sensation when someone gets the spotlight and applause for doing something I simply could but not given the chance because I am judged as unknowledgable and like I don't deserve it. I actually want to be in a way approved, because its like I'm confident but I am not. I am confident because I know my true talent, but I am not confident when it doesnt always come through socially, and it sorta does have to because this is what dictates my dreams and oppurtunity. There is also this stupid dumb self-pity; its wierd; its like I feel bad for myself as if I was feeling bad for a person that is really undeservingly looked down upon. It makes me feel weak. I have like this wierd confidence if you know what I mean. UGHHHHH I am so, idk whatever...

[2NDFLOOR]

It sounds like you have all the skills to be successful theatrical arts, but you need to help others to see that. If possible talk to the choir director or whoever it is that gives out these roles. Talk to them about how you would like a bigger part in the future and ask what you need to do in order to get there. They may say they weren't aware that you wanted to aim for bigger positions due to the perceived shyness. Remind yourself of the confidence that you have inside of you to talk to other people that you work with in the play. If there is one person that you look up to try talking to them about what they do to come out of their shell. Sometimes just initiating a conversation that scares us helps us to start socializing better. You could ask people to go grab food one night or weekend. Surround yourself with people who help you to become more confident! If you want to talk more call 2NDFLOOR Youth Helpline 24/7 or text us daily 12PM-8PM at 888-222-2228.