mad/deppressed

[deppresses]

My great aunt passed away recently I hadn't seen her in a long time before that my Gma told my mom and I not to visit her because she didn't want us to because she would be going down shortly after she said it was a six hours drive for us to visit my great aunt it was only 3 my mom sent me to my dad's for 2 weeks he is emotionally abusive when I got Back she was dead and I missed the funeral and she was cremated so I never got to say good bye or be at the funeral that males feel guilty I'm mad at my Granada because of what she said but she has stage 4 cancer she is fighting it and has been for a year so mow that's another person I feel guilt about that has passed away my grear uncle has been medicated for anxiety for a long time he takes it as needed but it was always my great aunt who told him he needed it he gets really mean and hurtful when he needs his meds and doesn't need then so now I feel like I lost them both cause he is now always mean I have a secret eating disorder and my great uncle because he didn't have his meds said I was going to get fat and need to loose 10 to 20 more pounds at least that really upset then he was talking about dieing and going to he'll my mom says I eat to much kingdoms and need to loose weight so does the rest of my family but I don't even eat every day but they think I do because they pay me no attention my whole family is emotionally abusive and my mom is also dieing of Lupas I live with her visit me dad I haven't cut since Dec 11 but I have come as close at to having a blade in my hand I really want to and I don't see why I shouldn't anymore it could be a secret in places no one would see so why shouldn't I my family doesn't love me my best friends family is more of a family to me than mine is and I haven't ever even met them only through video chat I'm not loved by my family they have called me every name in the book and told how they would be better off with out me but I could never leave my pets I have attempted suicide I ended up in the hospital once for an Od the other times went as successful but I kinda miss being in the hospital everyone thinks I'm an attention seeker because of it but I like the hospital the people there understand they help u not hurt u they only try to make u feel better they don't make fun of u or call u names get my drift but sometimes I still am suicidal but I can't leave my best friend and pets but why not cut I don't see the point in trying should I confront my dieing Gma and on top of that my mom is selling my horse we can't afford him I'm going to miss him so much what if he goes to a bad or abusive home what if he is killer or torchered my inhome therapy ended the beginning of Aug but I haven't been a therapist since June I'm thinking of calling Mobil response tell them what's going on are if I can get inhome again I need it but what should I expect when I call or if someone comes to my house help!

[2NDFLOOR]

Calling in home therapy sounds like a really great idea. You have so many things going on that you really would probably benefit from restarting your therapy. Between your Grandmother, cutting, eating disorders, emotional abuse and thoughts of suicide you have so much going on that you need help to deal with them all successfully. It is especially important to be honest with them about all of your issues. Don't hide your eating disorder or cutting, because then they are not going to get any better. You can still say good-bye to your great aunt on your own, even though circumstances prevented you from being able to attend her services. You can keep a picture of her in a special place or try talking to her even though she has passed. Depending on your beliefs, many people speak with deceased loved ones and get comfort from it. Give us a call anytime and please make sure you get back into your in-home therapy program. 888-222-2228.