I'm tired.

[Unregistered]

It's summer and the only thing I do every fucking summer is get up clean the house and go to sleep. I have depression and that makes this situation worse. My life is on repeat. Everyday is the same day. Just like school. When we had school I would go home, take a nap, wake up, shower, use my phone and then sleep again and repeat. This is my life. I have nothing to do during this summer vacation. My family doesn't know about my depression so of course they probably don't care if I go out or not but this also effects my depression. When I'm depressed I like to go out and do something to keep my mind out of things but when you're locked in a house doing nothing but clean go to bed and repeat that drives me insane. If my parents ask me where I want to go, I don't know where to go! I just want to get out. I wanna be happy. But shit. I've been depressed for years and I hear voices. I'm getting tired of fighting everyday and make it seem like I'm okay but I'm not. I've been through a lot of shit when I was young and learn a lot of lessons in a young age. I don't wanna tell my parents about what I'm going through because I don't wanna seem weak. I'm afraid. I don't have the courage to say anything. I just want things to stop. I just wanna live life. But how? I know the first step to get better is tell your parents but I can't even do that one damn step! You can't tell me that it takes time and one day I'll tell them because maybe I won't be able to tell them because I'll probably be dead before I do.

[2NDFLOOR]

I am glad you reached out to 2ndfloor. Are you diagnosed with depression? If not it would be good to have a diagnosis so you can get help. You never mentioned anything about friends. Do you have friends that you can hang out with? If not maybe you can try to get involved with something you might like and you might be able to make some friends that way. You said that you can't tell your parents because that would make you weak. Don't you think your parents might want to know so they could help? If you can't tell them maybe a relative or someone you trust. A counselor at school/coach/teacher? You definitely need to reach out to someone for help. You shouldn't have to live like this. There is help out there for you. If you still don't know what to do, please reach out to 2ndfloor either by texting or phone. Our texting is daily from 4-8 PM or you can call 888-222-2228 24/7. Please don't go through this alone.

[Unregistered]

Thanks for responding.

Hi. I've been trying to say something and I can't. I'm too scared. If I'm alone with my mom I want to say something but the voices stop me. I have a school counselor and I text her about how I feel and she gives me advice. She also says I should see a psychiatrist. Every time when I feel I have the courage to finally say something to my parents the voices stop me so I don't know how to tell them without my voices getting in the way. I have one friend but I sometimes don't want to bother him but I talk to him. I just don't know how to tell my parents without my voices getting in the way.

[2NDFLOOR]

Have you tried writing down how you are feeling and giving this letter to your parents? If it's written down then you don't have to build up the courage to say it to them at a specific time you can just give them what you wrote. The first step to helping yourself feel better is letting your family know how you are feeling so they can find the right help for you. If you want to talk more call 2NDFLOOR Youth Helpline 24/7 or text us daily 4-8PM at 888-222-2228.