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[Unregistered]

I dont want to be told "see a therapist" or "talk to your parents" or thats its common, I want something new. Im need sympathy, understandment, empathy. I feel this aggression because of things I cant control.. like I would be happier if I had my teacher as my mom and fantasize hpw life would've been better. Its no use but I cant help it. I feel at fault for everything out of my control. I tried to be "happy" aand move past emotional obstacles, I swear I did but im going nowhere and its frustrating. I feel so lonely and my family are not ppl I necessarily get a long with. I tried making friends, but I feel like bo one wants me. I joined5 different clubs, and still. And I feel like I will still not ne happy even if I got what wanted. Actually I would, but I feel like it would be momentarily and id be thinking "ok now what"? The only adult that made me feel alive left, and they were not even supposed to mean so much to me as they do. I just fell in love with their positivity, openmindes unstigmatic views and their way of reaching out. It is something very rare and I cant find it ans ive looked ams tried to make them... but its not working. I sometimes feel like I wish I was a badass and evil and a party animal/whore stereotype cuz these r the ppl that have more fun and dont feel too deeply. The things is my parents dont allow it because they believe in being modest, and I get jealous of ppl that have parents that don't necessarily think being a "whore" or a badass a bad thing. The parents that think its their child's life and should be able to express themselves freely, just like my friends mom. And what the heck is a therapist gonna do? I cant trust my parents to talk to a stranger. What are they gonna tell me? Things ive heard before? I feel this aggression like im mad at everything, the world, life, ppl, myself. And Idk what to do. I went down to tell my dad to see therapy but I chickened out cuz I was scared of being judged. I feel trapped and Idk what to do.

[2NDFLOOR]

It does sound like you having a hard time right now and angry about things that are out of your control in life and regrettably there are always going to be things that you cannot change. The only thing you change is how you respond to things. There is no magic in learning to cope with challenging things in life it just takes practice, it’s a choice, a mindset to think the glass is half full and not empty. However, anger usually comes from pain and hurt so talking to a professional will definitely benefit you greatly. It’s absolutely a positive thing that you joined activities to try and meet people, but you cannot expect that to change how you feel about yourself. You mentioned that you feel like no-one wants you so that is more complex and is coming from somewhere inside of you and unless you work on figuring out why then it will be hard to look at the positive in life! Once more, although you don’t want to hear that you should talk to a therapist, it truly sounds like if you open yourself up to the thought of it then it would really benefit you. Therapists are not there to judge you, it is a safe place to talk about what is bothering you and to learn healthy ways of coping. Here is the number to NJ Mental Health Cares at 866-202-4357, they have up to date referrals for mental health professionals in your area so try it when you are ready!

In terms of your parents it sounds like there is a lack of communication between you all and that can make someone feel very alone so I am really sorry that you are feeling like this. Hopefully you can at least have a discussion with them about it or even write them a letter explaining how you feel. Maybe something like, you are feeling like too many things are out of control right now and you need understanding from them so you can start to feel better about yourself. Maybe even ask them why they don’t allow you to be free with your choices? By trying to understand their way of thinking it may help you get along better with them and start communication. I do hope this has helped!!! Keep your head up and if you want to talk more give 2NDFLOOR a call 24/7 or text us daily 4-8PM at 888-222-2228.