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Hi, I need some help right now. Both of my parents are upset with me for feeling upset for the past 3 days and they are tired of my negative energy which I can't seem to get rid of. I'm worried because I have been institutionalized before due to anxiety and depression linked with a suicide attempt but I don't want to have to go back into another program so I can't tell my parents what I'm feeling. I have so much homework and 2 tests and an oral presentation tomorrow and I have such urges to just completely lose it but I don't even feel like I have the energy to do anything plus I'm too scared to kill myself and even though I fantasize about how great it would be, I always freak out when I make even the slightest action. I want to destroy something, preferably myself because I'm angry with me not others, but I don't want anyone to notice and I'm so upset and hurting. I'm going down a bad path, any advice? Yes I understand time will eventually fix this but I need some immediate help or just someone to talk to.
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If you are having thoughts or suicide or feel that you may attempt suicide call 911 immediately or call the suicide prevention lifeline 1-800-273-8255. If you are just looking for someone to talk to about it they would also be a great resources. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is a 24-hour, toll-free, confidential suicide prevention hotline available to anyone in suicidal crisis or emotional distress. I understand not wanting to tell your parents but at this point this is not something that you can go through alone. Have you considered speaking to a counselor on a regular basis? It could be beneficial to start seeing someone weekly to develop coping skills and to have that person that you can open up to about this. The first step to getting the help you need is telling someone you are feeling this way (parents, teacher, trusted adult, etc.) If you want to talk more you can call 2NDFLOOR Youth Helpline 24/7 or text us daily 4-8PM at 888-222-2228.
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