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This was a long time ago when it happened to me, maybe about 8-10 years ago when I was about 5 or 6. I've thought about this a lot as I got older but never really thought too much on it because well the past is the past you know and I can't do anything about it. I remember how my godparents would come over a lot. They moved so not really anymore now but I remember their son would touch me sometimes. Me being really young and I didn't want him to but I didn't think it was something bad. He didn't do anything that would take my virginity thankfully but I hated how he touched me and I didn't realize what he was doing until I got older. I would think about it sometimes and just shrug it off but now it hits me because of how I just never thought I'd be one of those kids that had been touched when younger and it scares me knowing that I am one. Not that it's the kid's fault or anything it's just my heart would go out to those kids and I never thought I would be one. About maybe 6 months ago I saw him again. I'm not sure if he just doesn't remember what he did since he's 21 now, if he just wants to ignore it because he feels regret for doing it, or if he's just hoping I don't remember it. Of course I still care about him it's just I don't understand why he did that and I'm scared if it's something that will ever happen again with another guy. Please help me out with this.
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I am sorry to hear about what happened. You don't have to be afraid that it will happen again as a teenager or adult, you were a child then and it was not your choice to do that. You are the one with the power as a young adult now to decide when you are sexual with someone else. It's important for you to really understand that what this kid did to you was sexual abuse, it was inappropriate sexual behavior that you did not ask for. If you don't want to be around this kid anymore then you should definitely steer clear of him and you don't have to explain yourself to anyone until you feel ready. Have you told anyone about what happened? I say that because it's good to get things off your chest and not stuff them. Try talking to a professional counselor, it's confidential and you can talk about your feelings. Here is the number to NJ Mental Health Cares at (866) 202-4357, this can direct you to a counselor in your area. If you don't feel ready to tell your parents about why you want counseling then just say that your going through some changes and want some professional guidance or something like that. Here is a website you might find helpful as well @ http://www.joyfulheartfoundation.org/. Remember you do not have anything to be ashamed of! I hope that this helps and if you need to talk more call 2NDFLOOR Youth Helpline 24/7 or text us daily 4-8PM at 888-222-2228. -
Thank you very much for your help. And no I haven't told anyone but I think it'll be better if I do so I will soon find someone I trust.Comment
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