Tweet
I have recently been losing sleep and losing my appetite because I think my emotional breakdown is coming. I have been bottling up feelings for years now, and I think they are about to explode. I'm not sure how to stop it or help it, as the helplines I have called so far have not been very useful. I am still a student, so going into school with 0-4 hours of sleep is difficult, and never feeling hungry but knowing I should eat has been hard for me as well. My family life is troublesome, as my brother takes out any of his anger or frustration on me. I have gotten bruises and scratches, so not too major, but he also yells at me and makes me cry through insults I can't help but feel are true, making me feel worthless. I have started keeping a journal in order to help, but I also want to talk to someone too. I can't help but feeling its too late for me to come for help. I don't want to wake up, work, shower, all everyday things, so its as if I don't want to live anymore. I get irritable and upset and anxious over the smallest things, and every day feels like the same old grind. I hardly ever feel truly happy. I am constantly bombarded with memories of all my mistakes, like I am a failure. My parents want me to be a lawyer and get into Oxford, Harvard, or Sorbonne. I don't feel as if I am good enough to get into those universities, and I want to be a multimedia journalist. I am restless, and can almost never sleep. I skip meals every day now. I haven't told my parents, and I always pretend in front of them and my friends, who know something is going on but not exactly what. What should I do about these issues?
-
-
You absolutely need to open up and talk to someone about your feelings. This should be your number one priority right now. You are completely stressed out and since you have been bottling up your feelings you are only going to start feeling worse than you do now. I think the helplines you have called have maybe not been useful because the real need for yourself is to open up to your parents. You mentioned the there is a lot going on in your family so it sounds like that is where you must try and start. You need help and support. You shouldn't have to handle this all on your own and honestly you can't since it is effecting your sleep, eating, mood....and most importantly feeling like you do not want to live anymore. You must talk to someone TODAY. You might think right now that nothing can change or get better but that is not true so please do not believe that. With enough help and support things can change. I think it is awesome that you have started keeping a journal so at least you have some sort of an outlet, but you also definitely need a person to open up to so you get responses and together can take action. I am not sure if you have ever tried calling our helpline but we can further talk to you about this...even if it is to practice how to start the conversation with your parents. We are here 24/7 at 888-222-2228. You can also text us daily between 4pm and 8pm. Please reach out to someone.
Comment