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Hi... Ive been feeling lazy latley, like its really hard to do simple tasks like renew a book, clean my room and even pack my bag. I keep having bad flashbacks, and I cant seem to get rid of them. My mind just goes to the worst case scenarios and I cant control it...its wierd saying "its my brain, not me" because like I am it. I feel disconnected from my brain. I just have wierd feelings... like not necessarily sad... just like out of touch with reality, empty, bored, scared. I just hate how my anxiety defines me. And on top of all that, I have an exam which im gonna fail... so I feel like I will end up on the streets. Did u see that??? I just wnt to the worst case scenario, but I cant help it. I have all As and one low B, but its not enough. I cant love myself or even trust myself. there are many reasons to why I feel this way, but im not gonna write everything. I tried all I can think of... excersize, journal, music and even talk to my school therapist (I trust her so much and shes always there for me), but for some reasons, I still feel empty, exausted, done. I dont know what makes me happy. I dont know. I dont wanna go to the highschool, our school system sucks, teachers suck, everyone sucks. I hate how my anxieties define me. And on top of all that... I feel really funny when talking about my feelings... so how am I supposed to get help????!! Like I feel really wierd and awkward. I dont know what to do....and I feel like therapy wont even work... like theyee gonna say the same thing that my school therapist says... no difference at all. So whats the point?? I also dont care about my health as much, I feel like having some sort of respiratory disease is so much better than mental pain. My parents dont know btw, and I dont want them to know. .I just think its unfair to bring them down, cuz why do they have to know?
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Dealing with anxiety can be very difficult! If you feel that journaling, exercise and other coping skills aren’t working then maybe it is time to get help from a professional therapist! Talk to your guidance counselor and explain that you are having trouble staying positive and that your thoughts are overwhelming you at times so you need additional support form a therapist outside of school. It sounds like it would benefit you to meet with someone weekly to talk about your anxiety and help you manage your negative thoughts. Try talking to your parents, if it’s too hard to talk then write them a letter explaining what you need from them in order to feel better. Is there anyone that you trust that you can vent to? Very often, it's possible to get past some anxiety with the help of friends or family member, it’s just another ear to help you sort out your worries.
Here is something you can try as well, maybe make a list of goals for yourself, daily and cross it off as you go. Take control of the things you can and try to accept those you can’t change. Ask yourself things like, “Where can you take control of a situation? Where can you make changes? Do the things you have control over and let go of the other things. It’ll take some practice but it will become easier the more you do it. Also, try to actively change your negative thoughts! Try to become aware of your thoughts and ask some questions like, Is this a helpful thought? Is it helping me get closer to my goals? If it's just a negative thought you're rehashing, then try to tell yourself to, Stop! Again, it’s hard at first but it’s a good habit to start practicing. I hope this has helped and if you need help with anything please call us, we want to help you in any way that we can. If you call us we can talk these thoughts out with you which you might find helpful too. Please call 2NDFLOOR anytime, we are here 24/7 at 888-222-2228 or text us daily from 4-8PM.
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