Nothing is right

[Unregistered]

Hi. I have a lot of problems I need to get off my chest. This is probably going to just be a bunch of random stuff everywhere, but thats just because a little bit of everything has been going on. I don't know where to start. I guess I'll start with the fact that my mom doesn't live with me because of her drug and alcohol problems, so I live with my grandmother. My grandmother doesn't let me do anything. I wanted to have a sleepover this weekend because there has been a lot of drama going on with my friends, but she doesn't understand that. She just says no. I try to talk to her about why I want to do stuff, or why I should have more freedom, but she doesn't listen to anything I say. I have to admit I do get angry at her sometimes, maybe ill slap her arm or tell her things that I don't mean, but I think a big part of it has to do with me feeling like she took both of my parents away from me. I hate when things get taken from me. Friends, boyfriends, family members, just things in general, my number one thing that i hate the most is when people take stuff from me thats mine. All I do all day is sit at home and eat and watch movies. Theres nothing else to do. She doesn't let me out of the house, and even if she did, i don't have a lot of friends. I only have 2, maybe 3 people that i actually call my friends. Everyone in my class makes fun of me. They say I wear weird clothes and my hair is puffy. My teachers are nothing but rude to me. I feel just as alone at school than i do at home. Not to mention, Im failing all of my classes. Not because I'm not smart, its just because i never want to go to school. Ive had the police come to my house more than once to ask me why i haven't been going and sometimes i don't know what to say. Ive really just given up on everything. Sometimes i tell myself i belong in a mental hospital, i think i would feel a lot better there. Ive cut myself a couple times and other times i don't really see the use of living anymore. But its not always bad, i have a bestfriend who helps me through a lot, but sometimes even he doesn't even know what to say. All i want is freedom, and friends, and to be happy with myself, and i want to be able to go out with my friends and have fun, but she doesn't let me do anything. I feel depressed just sitting in my room every weekend with nobody next to me. Every time i try to talk to her about it, she comes up with an excuse like " you don't deserve anything ". and she calls me spoiled and things like that. Can you please help me? You don't know how hard it is waking up every morning to the same routine. Wake up, get yelled at, go to school, get yelled at, fail, come home, get yelled at, then get locked in my room for the rest of the night. And its the same thing everyday. I don't want to live here anymore. What do I do?

[2NDFLOOR]

It sounds like you have been going through a lot recently. I can understand why you are feeling the way that you are. Sometimes, since grandparents are from a different generation it can be difficult to have a conversation with them. If you are looking for a different place to live, I would recommend looking towards another family member. However, if your parents are out of the picture it could be that your grandmother has legal guardianship over you. These are some things that you will want to find out. Also I think it's great that you have at least 2-3 friends. As you get older you realize that having a few true friends is better than having 20 fake friends. Have you ever seen a counselor before? That could be a good outlet for you and help you to get out of the house and express how you are feeling to someone. If you would like to talk more give 2NDFLOOR Youth Helpline a call anytime at 888-222-2228 or text us from 4-8PM daily at 908-280-0235. You aren't in this alone!

[Unregistered]

i'll help

well I have some situation close, to that. I guess. my parents they never let me go out, my mother always complains why I have no friends and i think the same thing over and over. EVery since my mom told me I can't go to events they just forget it, after aw file they stopped aced and they planned in front of my face. MY sister is the only one with liberty, it's also been hard to do anything, no one really understands me I cut a lot and I don't know how to let out my emotions. My parent tell me that i have to do everything right, I can't have my grades below a number or I get spanked and I'm grounded. I know were probably a million miles apart, but I want to help. In reality the internet is the only place I can be myself with no judgement. Just know that things are going to get better, sometime you have to wait to climb over the mountain not halfway to see the view. Also i believe it's lucky you have someone to talk to like your guy best friends, I read a lot of watt pad because I haven life and your relationship may grow more. In the end I wish you luck.