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So, I have grown up with the same best friends my whole life. I have other friends too but just not as close as my best friends. We all were very close and all hung out with each other, and there is about 5 of us. All of us go to different schools except for me and, ill call her Callie. Now that we are in high school, my friend, ill call her Anya, started to smoke weed. Callie started to hang out with Anya a lot and started smoking weed too. Eventually all of us hung out and tried smoking all together and to be honest i don't like it. Im not that type of person to smoke at all. But i started to feel like that was the only way to bond with them so i did. Eventually i stopped wanting to do it. All my other friends like smoking too ,except for, ill call her claire. For some reason callie and anya just click and they are ALWAYS together. I began to get jealous of anya because callie was my best friend first. But anyways callie and anya started to get new friends to hang out with who smoke too. My other friends hang out with them too but not as much. So now that callie and anya are best friends i don't really see callie at all anymore even though went to the same school( since its summer now). I miss all the good times we had but i feel awkward with her now because we never hang out anymore. And i feel like if we did hang out she would want to be with anya anyways. She has changed sooooo much and i feel like i am not good enough for her. SO now she doesn't even want to go to the same school as me because she wants to be with anya. Even though we don't talk, in the back of my mind she was still my best friend and now she doesn't even care to see me she just wants to be with her new friends. Now i just feel so alone and like i have no one. I know i have my other best friends to talk to. Me and claire(the one who deosnt smoke either) don't talk anymore( we have known each other since we were born...) and i have gotten over not being close to her anymore. clearly anya and callie are not there for me. and my other friend, whenever we hang out she ditches me to go with her other friend or friends. I don't get why no one wants to be with me. But i kind of blame myself because lately i have not been sociable. I even missed callies birthday party because i didn't really feel like going. The reason i didn't feel like it is because now that callie never wants to hang out i normally want to hangout with my friend who always ditches me, we can call her D. D is actually my cousin and she said she couldn't go so i made up an excuse to hang out with D instead of going to the party. Well D ended up going to the party and i couldn't just go with her because now they would know i just wanted to hang out with D instead of Callie. So D is my only friend i trust BUT she thinks that since we are family it is ok to ditch me. But to me she is my best friend and not just my family. I wish she saw it that way too. So basically i feel really alone and i don't know how to make friends because i am kind of shy and i feel like i am really boring to people. I am starting a new sport but i don't feel like i will make friends. And when i do make friends i feel like once they get to know me, they start to be a bitch to me. I think it is something i do because it always happens and i honestly don't know what it is. I try so hard and no one cares. Not even my best friends anymore. I keep trying to tell myself i will get closer to my school friends but my school friends are "popular" and i feel awkward around them. Im just not good at being sociable as i should be. Everyone else knows how to talk to other people but i always feel like I'm being awkward.... Like i don't understand what i do for no one to want me.
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It may help you to know that what you are going through often happens to us as we get into our teenage years. Friends are a big part of our lives, and we love to do everything together. However, as we begin transitioning into young adults our common interests may change. Often, we become aware of harmful activities our friends engage in that we choose not to participate in. For example, you have learned that smoking marijuana is not good for you; nor do you want to do it, even if your friends are doing it. I commend you for figuring that out and choosing to avoid drugs. That is very brave, and you may feel alone, since your friends have chosen differently. The good news is that there are many other young people like you. You just need to find them to build a new friend network; more importantly you may need to change your feelings about yourself more positively to attract new friends. To be sociable, simply means being friendly and open to engaging with others in talking with them; and in doing things of common interest. I am sure that you can do this because you have done so in the past with your 5 friends. It can be difficult moving on with new people in our lives, but it is all a part of growing up and becoming healthy adults. I would suggest that you avoid self-blame, and isolating yourself from others. It will only make you feel sad, and prevent new friends from getting to know you. When you have a chance, please take a look at the following website: http://www.cyh.com/HealthTopics/Heal...id=1705&np=286
It has some healthy tips on making new friends, and forming relationships with ‘best friends’. It may also help to talk to your parents about making new friends. They may know of a club, or activity you can engage in with others your age. Be open to new possibilities. Be yourself. Stay positive, and you may be surprised at how you will attract new friends. If you’d like to talk more, please contact 2NDFLOOR at any time: 1 (888) 222-2228, or visit us at our website: www.2ndfloor.org. We wish you the best.
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