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So I was in a friend group with my boyfriend and his friends. He introduced me to them and at first we were getting along just fine, but then I’ve been getting more depressed and I let it get the better than me and it affected my friendship with them. Every time I would get upset they would get concerned and instead of letting them help me I would get angry and refuse help from them. It became a occurring thing in our friend group and eventually it became very tiring and stressful for them, they couldn’t take all the negativity and aggression and we had a falling out. At first I wasn’t upset as I thought that they didn’t care about me, but then after a while I realized the hurt I’ve caused them and it made my depression worse. My boyfriend was heavily affected the most as he was the one to try to pick up the pieces when it wasn’t his responsibility to do. I know I shouldn’t have involved them into my depressive episodes as I’ve have done this before in the past and lost my past friends the same way. My lack of communication and unwillingness to change cause the falling out with them and I feel so much regret. Currently I have been feeling extremely depressed while my boyfriend is very concerned for me and is encouraging me to get therapy. His friends are fine now as I did apologized to all of them personally, but they don’t like what I did to them and that’s completely acceptable. I know I shouldn’t feel bad for this as I am not a victim in this situation, but I can’t help but to feel ashamed of myself and I deeply regret everything.
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People sometimes do things they wish they didn't do. It sounds like you are sorry for how you acted, but that can't be changed at this point. You can try to make up for it, which you said that you said sorry so you did and learn from the behavior so you don't repeat it again in the future. If you're feeling depressed, your boyfriend may be right in saying that therapy may be helpful for you. You could also use that as a time to process how you deal with other people as friends to learn how to do it better next time. Shame and guilt are there for a reason, to show you that you did something that goes against your beliefs, morals, values, etc, and you should use it as a learning tool, but then once you learn from it, forgive yourself and move forward and don't let that regret hold you back. Call or text us anytime at 888-222-2228.
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