Can't stop feeling like the world doesnt like me or my character

[Guest]

This past year has been a rough one, after talking to about 8 different guys, and then having them ghost me, and me trying to figure out what I did wrong, and trying dumb things like waiting a long time to answer texts or sending longer texts I realized what the issue may be. I noticed, as the guys i dont like talk to me still. When I like a guy, i try hard to make him seem like I am interesting do fun things get good grades, as that is what I would want in a guy that I like, so I think its teh same for them. I feel like it ends up backfiring in some cases, as the guy ends up feeling inaqeuate and one upped, for instance, "what did you do this weekend" Them: not a lot,you Me: went to a party. Them: how did you do on the test, i didnt do that well. Me: i did pretty well. Its not even like this is on purpose it just happens bc in both cases, I actually went to a party, and did well on the test, and I guess they didn't. I feel like if i change this tho, I may seem boring to them, and im not being myself, so how do I find a way to be myself without making the guy feel inadequate around me and then ghost me. Either its this or something else im doing wrong, idk what tho, so I guess I will just try and continue being myself, but be more concious as to be more modest. but I feel like when im modest the guy may think that im boing or im inadequate and average so idk what to do

I also got dropped twice from sorority recruitment, I got into a organization the first time I went out, then went out again and told me no matter what I did there was nothing i could do to be able to join their org, even if I went to more activities, that they had, While they said the activities were open to anyone on campus, even if I went to them, no matter what I said or did, I couldnt get in to the org. They also refused to give me an explanation as to why this was and when I asked, all they said was "you cant get a bid, from us and we cant tell you why not not, we are sworn to secrecy", the only hypothesis I have is i guess the same thing, trying too hard to seem interesting and show my strengths to the point that it backfires and people think im being condescending nad one upping them. But this is all by accident. Since rush at my school isnt that hard, and like 75 percent of my school gets into greek life I feel like there is honestly soemthing wrong with how I interact with ppl. I honestly feel like the entire world hates me..... and my personality, and i think its unfair bc, I show concern for others, ask about them and try to be positive, but I still lose out.


Also arent you supposed to show your strengths and talents to greek organizations and guys you like? Like what else could I possibly be doing wrong that is causing all these people to have such a dislike for me as a person and my personality?

[2NDFLOOR]

I could only imagine having someone disappear can be really frustrating, I'm sorry you experienced that. In regards to dating, it is a process in figuring out what's best for you and what you'd like from a significant other, often times it takes time to find someone who you are compatible with but it does not mean your aren't worthy of finding someone who's best for you it's all about reminding yourself that dating can be hard but you deserve to find someone who cares about you and will not disappear. Dating and healthy relationships stem from communicating in an open and honest way and it seems as though those guys you were dating weren't able to express how they felt and so moving forward it helps to remind yourself that communication is important for you. Once a person makes you feel inadequate it means this person is not good for us being that they are making us question ourselves and our character which isn't healthy. During these times when dating can feel overwhelming having support system is very helpful, dating can be tough but you do not need to go through it alone. Having people to talk to helps in feeling better and to best move forward. Also, It sounds as though the process of getting involved in Greek life has made you question yourself as a person, I'm sorry this has made you question and doubt yourself. In regards to sorority and fraternities, each organization has their own values and strengths they may be searching for during recruitment or in general and if these organizations fail to see what qualities and traits you pose it does not make you a bad person or unworthy by any means, it is simply just not being compatible with that organization and that's ok. It is a process to find an organization you feel you belong best to being that these organizations are established with thoughts of having a sisterhood/brotherhood that is lifelong and so taking your time in considering what you'd like from these organizations can help in both finding the organization that's best for you and compatible as well as in finding future sisters who share similar interests. If you believe that there has been unfair treatment in your university there are also Greek college advisors you may speak to to fully understand what is currently going on. Remember your worth is not tied to how others feel about you but how you feel about yourself, finding other organizations you can join on your college campus also helps in finding others with similar interests as you and helps to remind you that your worth is important and that there are others who will care to interact with you. We are also here 24/7 whenever you'd like to speak again through text and phone-line, we're glad you're reaching out for support today.