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I've been dealing with varying degrees of depression and anxiety for over a year and a half now. I've never been great socially but I've hit my lowest point recently. I have no friends at all. I eat lunch alone in the locker room. When I finish, I move to a table in the school library where I sit by myself and do my homework. I haven't left my house to go anywhere except for school, sports or work in months. Everyone who has ever been my friend has hurt me and left me behind. I've already been through about 5 different groups of friends throughout high school (I'm a junior so a little less than three years), because each group just doesn't fully take me in. To make matters worse, I don't have any one best friend. I don't have that person who I know will always have my back. I have no one. I'm unsatisfied with where my life is. I'm a person who likes to be social which makes it painful to sit in my room every night while everyone else goes out. I have nobody to turn to and nowhere to go. I don't know what to do.
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It sounds like you're going through really difficult time. It can be upsetting and frustrating to not feel that social support that you want. You said you're involved in sports. Do you feel close to anyone on the team? Or is there a friend group that you felt comfortable with even though you didn't have a best friend in the group? Sometimes these types of friendships can take time to develop in to one that you can trust and rely on. Do you have anyone at work that you could hangout with or get to no better? I know it's frustrating that you have already been through so many different friend groups, but being a social person it may be worth it to put yourself out there again. In terms of the anxiety and depression are you receiving professional help? This could help you to process all the things that have happened between your previous friends, what may trigger your symptoms, and develop coping skills. If you want to talk more you can call/text 2NDFLOOR Youth Helpline 24/7 at 888-222-2228.
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