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I have a childhood friend, (Let's call her J) and I'm still friends with her today. Recently, her father passed away a because of an illness. And it's changing her, and her family, for the worse. When J comes over, she starts putting me down. Being her Best friend, at first I thought she was joking around. Cause that's what friend do. Then it started getting worse. She expected for us to bring her places and buy her things every time she comes over. Like the saying, Money doesn't grow on trees. Other then that, every time I try to tell her off, she starts crying. She guilt trips me. I hate that. Since they also moved away, because of money, J came to town, and My Mom asked if she wanted to come over, so we can catch up and whatnot. But we would only see each other for two hours, because her mom was picking her up. So we said nevermind, and said we can try another day, so we can hang out longer. Long story short, J's mom acuses my mom for not letting J see me. After my mom exlains to her what was going on in our household (we were going through tough times too) She starts snapping and yelling at my mom over the phone. Like I said that family is changing and for the worse. I wanna cut ties with her, and her family. We stick around because of her deceased father. They guilt trip us a lot. I hate it. If J was really my friend, she wouldn't put me down. Then she acts innocent afterwords. I feel bad because we're best friends. Practically sisters. But, she's turning into bad news. What do I do? I don't want to seem like the bad guy here...
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You said it perfectly, if J was really your friend she wouldn't treat you this way or put you down. Many times the people that we are closest too take out what they are going through on us. That doesn't make it ok though. Losing a family member is a huge loss, but it doesn't excuse her behavior towards you. If you feel comfortable having a conversation with her let her know how you are feeling. Talk to her about the change you see and they way she is treating you. If that isn't something that you feel comfortable doing, then start creating appropriate boundaries. Maybe spending very short periods of time together is the only way you can hangout right now. If even that is too much then don't feel bad taking some time apart. I'm sure she is going through a lot, but she isn't handling it very well. You could always give her our number if you think she may want to talk to someone about what she experienced. I'm sorry that this is what has happened to your friendship, but you know how you deserve to be treated. You may want to talk to your mom about this as well. She may have some ideas of how to create distance. If you want to talk more call 2NDFLOOR Youth Helpline 24/7 or text us daily 4-8PM at 888-222-2228. -
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